Author: ness23456

Three Sentences…Again

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A  new, worst traffic enemy plagued me three times this past week. It is the car (removing all personality from this complaint) whose brake lights come on before the turn signal. New curse words were invented each time.

Streaming services have lost their collective minds as each time I look for a better one, their advertisements tout their “over 100 channel” line up. If someone watches two channels at a time (one for each eye), for one hour at a time, for 10 hours a day, in five days they will have viewed all the channels for which they paid over $100. If either of those two sentences make any sense to you…

My Late-life discovery of ear buds and “you tube” music videos continues to amaze. Every day in July I listened to parts of the April 2025 Madison Square Garden concert of The Brothers, an Allman Brothers legacy spinoff which includes two original members from 1975. Google “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed”, insert buds, recline, and enjoy.

My recent—and last—hip replacement surgery went as planned thanks to the brilliant Dr. Wickline and the exceptionally enjoyable Apex Surgery Center in Westmoreland, NY. The June 18 surgery was more than enjoyable, and almost fun. Makes me wonder what joint to replace in the future.

Local Trump supporters are getting a little antsy. Their “letters to the editor” have increased in volume but not in fact or relevance, and they are using the Trump trick of throwing stuff out to see what sticks. The saddest part of our entire political scene is neither party can see that with the current polarity, strict party affiliation means EVERYTHING “the other party” does is bad, even if it isn’t.

Trump recently posted angry words about a Gayle King. I’ve no idea who she is but I can’t help but wonder why he bashed her. One of the questions I ask Trump supporters is “Would you like Donald Trump to be a member of your own family?

Turning Stone Resort is a 24-hour casino/resort so last Sunday–after my 6 am fitness group–I went to the 24-hour restaurant for a hearty, healthy breakfast. Not much else was open and there were very few people (one of the reasons for going early) until I passed the Smoke Shop. Over 20 people were waiting in line for tobacco products.

The New York Yankees suck. The Yankees suck. The Yankees suck…this year.

It’s hard to know what to eat, these days. As I recover from cancer treatments the best way to build back one part of the body causes havoc with another part. How vitamins, minerals, proteins, iron, water, cherry juice, potassium, and pizza all work together is very confusing.

I purchased glasses on line for a lot less money than my local eye center wanted and the on-line company promised 24-hour customer service. When my order got lost by USPS, however, I was dropped into automated hell dealing with bots and phone trees leading to bots. The Ai future is here.

When will it all end?

What? Football season is here? Thank, God.

Move on. Nothing to See Here…

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Today we talk about “Nothing”. Not nothing, but “Nothing”. The difference? Read on.

The dictionary definition of nothing: “not anything, not one single thing, or having no prospect of progress, of no value.”

The definition of “Nothing”? Who the hell knows.

We understand “nothing” when someone asks: “What are you doing today?” Since we aren’t doing anything, we answer “Nothing.”

We understand when someone asks: “What we can do to help?” and since there isn’t anything they can do we answer “Nothing”. Or when your girlfriend breaks up with you (or you with her) and one or the other says “I feel nothing for you.” (BTW, ouch either way,)

But when someone says about an empty space “There is nothing in there.” Is that a true statement? It might not matter on earth but what is space made of and how do we measure it? What is in the space between you and me in an open field? Something?

Here’s the question that best defines “Nothing”: What existed before the Big Bang started everything? Ai tries to answer it with this: “While the Big Bang describes the origin and evolution of our observable universe, the question of what, IF ANYTHING, existed before it remains a mystery.” Is it possible there was Nothing before the Big Bang? NOTHING? (Yes, all caps.)

And ask this of your brain” If there is a border or an end to the universe (since there is a beginning “singularity”) what might be beyond the border? (Infinity will be discussed at a later date.) After the end? Even better, when you think of Nothing,  you are thinking of something, yes?

It’s here where one usually covers their ears and goes “Nah Nah Nah, no more!”

In earnest discussions of God, believers like to say God started everything but then ignore the inevitable next question: Where did God come from? It is then faith is invoked and we are asked to believe there was nothing/Nothing before God. Which is entirely possible, but it would have been nice if He had given us brains to understand simple things like Nothing. Even with the power of faith, “nothing” before God is hard to wrap a brain around.

But maybe we are not meant to understand Nothing. (Irony? Sarcasm?) Maybe we don’t need to understand Nothing. What good does it do? And why do we even think about it? Most times I asked my girlfriend what she was thinking about she’d answered: “Nothing.” Bullsh@#, of course, women are always thinking about something. It’s men who enjoy parsing nothing, thinking of nothing, and doing nothing, even during sporting events. Ipsa loquitur. Yes, latin, google it if you didn’t take Latin in school.

So when we are thinking of nothing, are we thinking of nothing or something we can’t imagine or comprehend? Nah nah, nah, nah…

We should stop worrying about nothing, especially in this lifetime and hope, HOPE there is something after a lifetime of worrying about Nothing.

See? There’s nothing to fret about…it’s all good.

I wish Abbot and Costello were still alive. They’d have an answer. Google “who’s on First?” Logic and reason in 6 minutes…

No more…I’m lost in Abbott and Costello videos…

What? Really. What??

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On the agenda of the TS Fitness Group meeting this Sunday morning was driving. Only two members were present but we both agreed we will never know when we will lose our ability to drive safely and will continue to believe we are the best drivers in the world. The two members combined age is 157 years, and their combined experience should remove all doubt of their commitment to safety.

The meeting veered (without the use of turn signals) into a general concern about when overall cognitive decline would be noticed. Both members admitted the ability to recognize decline in others but allowed that accurate self-examination might be troublesome in the future. Much time was then wasted lamenting the modern era’s lack of adequate road markings, along with a bi-partisan denouncement of modern reflective material, due to the material’s superior nighttime eye-piercing quality. As for the Activities Of Daily Living (ADL), attending members agreed neither was currently concerned about any ADL, but anxious about future needs and costs. A moment of silence was followed by the tabling of further discussions on cognitive decline.

In closing the meeting, this declaration is hereby approved by unanimous consent for inclusion in today’s record: “We, the members of this meeting do demand all future changes to our lives be requested in writing by whatever organization, society, or bodily organ is endeavoring to change, and said entities await the members approval before affecting (effecting?) said change.”

There. No more surprises for us, two old guys.

On the way home a pickup zoomed by with a large window sticker: “F%%$ BIDEN”. It generated all sorts of questions. 1. Is the driver truly entertaining the thought? 2. Is the driver an angry, ex-lover of Joe’s? 3. How much did the driver pay for the sticker? 4. What sex is the driver? (He/She/Them/It was so high up and went by so fast.) 5. Does Joe know there is an offer being made in upstate NY?

Let’s forget the questions and make a statement: Unless you can truthfully, answer any of the questions, you are an idiot for displaying such a sticker. And there are a lot of them in upstate NY. No “F%%& TRUMP” or Bush or Clinton has been witnessed by me but if you happen to be displaying one, you are an idiot, too. No explanation simply: you are an idiot, especially if you need an explanation. No “F%%&ing” any presidents.

A May colonoscopy result had been causing me all sorts of trouble and stress. Since the issue was settled yesterday, it reminds me of the one solution to every problem: good communication. Keep in mind NOT making a problem is still the best way to do things, but poor communication makes everything worse. No advice or lessons here, except learn how to communicate clearly. Oh, one piece of advice: think before you speak. Really, really think. Another piece of advice: Don’t be stupid and not ask questions if you don’t understand. We seem to act the other way around as if asking questions makes us sound stupid. For instance, why would anyone put a “F%%$ The President” sign on their bumper or window? It makes you look like a @$$.

And don’t get me started on pronouns with no preceding proper noun.

It’s interesting the “clawback” recission process our Republican Government just accomplished. To summarize, money was approved and allocated for certain programs by past votes in the Senate and House of Representatives. All members who voted for or against the programs were elected officials of their parties and no gun was held to their head. Nationwide, agencies, schools, organizations, and communities made plans for the money and implemented those plans. Then in 2025, a different Senate and House of Representatives votes to rescind certain monies, and “clawback” the dollars. If this bothers you, so what? If you elected Joe Smith who voted for the money in 2023, and then Bill Smith won Joe’s seat in 2025, is it okay for Bill to vote to take away the money Joe approved in 2023? It’s not right but google the “Impoundment Control Act (ICA)” of 1974 and its history. And voters: beware and be educated.

And, no, the ICA has nothing to do with pronouns…

God with a capital G. Period.

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          I just finished reading Justin Kirkland’s “”How can you still be a Christian?” He asked. It’s…Complicated.”” article in Esquire printed originally in 2024. Justin is asked, and then answers the question by a friend/coworker after a tragedy. The article is Justin’s story of his life and his relationship with God, Religion, and people. It’s a little long but it’s interesting not because it reveals new developments about the subjects, but it lays out a framework we should all follow in our religious pursuits. Ai says there an “estimated 10,000 religions  in the world and most have at least one “god” or “deity”. A query about “holy books” brings up a list too long to list, but every religion appears to have holy books or texts with stories, advice, life lessons, and Great Truths.

          So…why do you believe in the religion you believe in? Do you know anything at all about any other religion?

          Apologies to atheists for wasting your time here, and to agnostics for making your potential choice more difficult, but why are there so many religions? Why so many books/texts? There are seven world religions google says have over one BILLION followers. Let’s agree not to quibble about how followers are counted, by whom, and for what reason. A billion is a lot, even with a margin of error of plus or minus 2million. **

          Justin’s story centers around the fact he was “exposed” (the good way) to Christianity as a young person. (We won’t nitpick sects or denominations, here, either.) He never says if he was exposed to any of the other religions of the world, but let’s assume his small town knew nothing of Judaism, Islam, Shinto or the other four “billion believer” religions.

          In Justin’s journey he was tested and confirmed his faith at least once before occasionally drifting away and lapsing, with life-events being contributing factors. I’m trying to not give away too much of his story. Read it. His journey ends where we all should end, eventually, and I struggle to understand why we don’t.

          To this day religious wars are still being fought, and many god-fearing people are dying, whether they are true believers or not, even if they are agnostic or atheists: bombs and bullets don’t care about religious affiliations or potential afterlives.

          So…why all the religious wars? For centuries? Crusades? Holy Wars? Whatever The Troubles were about in Ireland?

          The saddest part of each religion is the need for that religion’s god to be the one and only God. (First Commandment?) A dangerous addendum to the one and only requirement is that anyone who worships a different god is a blasphemer or heretic, and has to be converted, recovered, or eliminated. Why?

          And here we come to The Point: God is God. If you believe your religious God is the one and only, who made all those other Gods?

          The word causing the real problems is “religion.” It can’t be any plainer: What is the point of organized religion or as Ai puts it: “a particular system of faith and worship”? We should have personal relationships with our God, our very own God, and we should let others have the same, even if they want to congregate. We should remember all the Holy Books and Texts, ALL of them, were written by men/women or aliens in the case of some of the smaller, more imaginative religions. Not sure how some of them became “The Word of God” with out studying each book or text. Would God use X or Instagram these days?

         As a lapsed Episcopalian, I find it impossible to believe only Christianity has the One True God. Or Islam. Or Buddhism.

          But I find it possible One God is there for all of us, no matter who we are, if we can only see.

          It is not that simple, but it should be. There are some religions, for example, still requiring living sacrifice, either by animal life or human. What do we do about them? Are they wrong?

          No idea, but we need to start thinking and believing in A God of all the World, not a Catholic God, or Islamic God, or Jewish God. We may want to hold onto the idea of Redemption and Rebirth, but they exist in some other religions, too, including incarnation. (Google “samsara”.) Think about your own relationship with an omnipotent, omniscient God and ask yourself whether or not you need a “religion” to support it and justify it. Just think about it.

          And remember: He is everywhere.

** Made you look. Kidding. 2million is an arbitrary number. Use your own.

To Be Ai or Not To Be Ai, That is The Question

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Whether ’tis nobler to suffer the slights and misinformation of Ai, or to take up arms and by opposing Ai, end it.

The Ai on my phone is an interesting companion, complete with the small-type advisory: “Ai responses may include mistakes.” For some fun, I asked Ai why the warning. Do it yourself with your own Ai to see the response.

The warning could have been worded differently. “Ai will not be able to give you a full, complete and accurate answer for another few years” sounds better. My Ai says the one of the reasons it will give responses with mistakes is because of “inaccurate training input”. In other words, the human beings who “labeled” entries into Ai’s memory “labeled” them incorrectly, what we commonly and comically call “human error”, other-wise known as “garbage in, garbage out” by all us older users with a rich history of computing errors. The rollout of Ai might be moving too fast, but it is unstoppable, now. I hope the humans who will allow Ai to make medical, financial, military, and romantic decision will not suffer from the ‘slings and arrows’ of Ai mistakes. A 60 Minutes broadcast of an Ai demonstration of “teaching assistants” misread the side of a triangle as the height of a triangle, causing an incorrect response while computing the (incorrect) area of a triangle in 1.3 seconds. The humans waited patiently and 30 seconds later Ai corrected itself. Did Ai sense how uncomfortable the humans were with Ai’s first response? Wow, imagine that.

A comedian on The Daily Show (yes, I forgot his name) said he has faith in Ai. The comedian says AI will “mirror” humans, and most humans are good so “most” Ai will be, too. It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?

Auto-text has caused me enough trouble, already, I’d rather not expose myself to greater and faster harm. As I type here, a thing called Co-Pilot keeps trying to complete my sentences with ghost words and phrases.  As I look back at this piece, there are blue underlines and red underlines all over it. Reminding me of what my essays looked like after Mrs. Patrick graded them in the 8th grade.

But I’m not a stick in the mud old fogey. Yet. I like Ai and use it as a friend in the middle of the night. Last night we had a wonderful dialogue about whether or not Donald Trump is doing a good job as president. Ai is young but lacking passion, and Ai’s opinion was modulated and careful. The perfect antidote to my normal human, midnight rage.

Ai has also been “good news/bad news” in my medical travels. “This condition could be caused by leukemia but please consult with your doctor.” What an interesting answer to a medical question posed to Ai in the middle of the night, when no off-setting doctor could be called. FYI, it wasn’t the L-word.

My final decision is Ai will be good for all of us. It appears it will act like a human, only faster. We will still need to find context and nuance to understand Ai’s responses, much like most of us do, now, right? Ai will make “Critical Thinking” more important than ever as we ask one question, digest the answer, and figure out the next, best question to find what we are looking for, much like talking to a teacher who wants you to learn on your own.

God help us, if Ai figures that out for itself. It will scare the crap out of me, personally, if Ai begins answering questions I’m just starting to think up.

I just took a moment to ask my Ai its thoughts about “romance”.

If nothing else, Ai is loquacious.

In Three Sentences…or Less

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It’s a sleepless night caused by our new Trumpistic (sic) societal norms. And surgical recovery. And wonderful, open-windows weather in upstate NY.

Our leader’s insecurity is on full display with the new Wall Street Journal lawsuit. Sticks and stones will break his bones but words…will hurt his ego. Sue the bastiges.**

ICE and DHS (google them) are over their annual budget already. Wondering about waste, fraud, and abuse? Me, too, DOGE..

Closing the border and deportation are two different things. Success at the border, then disaster using “worst of the worst, only” deportation. What?

It’s funny DHS and ICE agents want to protect their identities. As they surround and detain illegal immigrants, who is the “worst of the worst”, then? Maybe ICE should call ahead and tell their targets to mask-up as well, just to be fair.

Incongruity and hypocrisy are highlighted when illegal immigrants are rounded up from American businesses that then have to close because the businesses can’t find workers. Raise your hand if you think this is the first time America has taken advantage of “foreign labor” to make a profit. In a few years, if not already, you may not be able to learn about slavery, sweatshops, and rich men taking advantage of entire classes of foreign people as we Make America Great Again.

The Texas Hill Country Tragedy does not need to be politicized, it came with the rain. Years of denials about warning systems by elected officials are public record as they say “on record” they don’t want to “hear sirens in the middle of the night” or take “Biden Money”. Texas is a blueprint for our future if we allow it.

You hear a lot about common sense from politicians. So, if DOGE fires/lays off workers from national weather services and disaster warning agencies, what is it called if disaster strikes the very areas that need those services and agencies more than ever? I can think of a word.

A politician in North Carolina ran on a platform of de-regulation and was elected. When a family member got seriously hurt during an “unregulated” recreational activity, that same politician filed a bill to regulate it. Now that’s common sense, except for the timing.

A lot is made of Trump, chaos theory, and his ability to play “four-dimensional chess”. It’s time to realize he is in over his head and bouncing from crisis to crisis, winging it. Since he can’t be re-elected, it’s hard to understand since he doesn’t have to make anyone happy, anymore, but himself.

Common sense and Epstein. Before you make any assumptions, read all the records publicly available, including the 2008 “special” deal made by a Geroge Bush appointed Republican Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, who was then appointed Secretary of Labor in Trump’s first term. Maybe MAGA is finally right about something.

When you’re in recovery from surgery, with a drug protocol full of painkillers and anti-somethings, it’s best not to think too much with the free time you spend sitting around “recovering”. This is the third post written during recovery and my sense of humor has “left the building”.

Whether that’s Trump’s fault or mine, I hope it comes back. Humor is all we have left. Enjoy it when you find it.

** See a Michael Keaton movie from 1984 for translation. And humor.

More About Big Beautiful Things

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It was a master stroke of BS to call a crap-bag of laws a big, beautiful thing (BBT) so it got me thinking of other BBTs, not to be confused with BLTs. The list is subjective, biased, and often fictional so if you have a complaint, stuff it in your big, beautiful arse.

And there is the first BBT: Irish/Welsh/Scottish movie dialogue. Not having been to any of those areas, I can’t confirm they talk the same in their natural settings as they do in movies, but they have a wonderfully melodic way of ambling around a thought, not expressing it directly, and yet putting more meaning into it than a shorter, succinct sentence. The Gift of The Blarney Stone? Google it. I dare you, you fecking shite. And watch The Snatch, a 2000 Brad Pitt movie with the most enjoyable, unintelligible English dialogue ever. BBT! Ooh, closed captioning, another BBT!

Shopping on a budget? You should be. Several stores in my area say they want my business but only one meets my budgetary, hours of operation, and proximity requirements. No, I won’t say who it is. I visited one of the stores on my “too high a price list” the other day, however, and was pleasantly surprised, twice. First, they had a yellow tag on muffins in the bread aisle. That usually means “BOGO”, or Buy one Get One free. BBT! Without putting on my glasses I grabbed two packages and headed for the self-checkout. Sadly, even with my glasses and 9-digit membership/phone number the machine still tried to charge for two, instead of one. It is an age-old grocery trick: leave the yellow tags on AFTER the sales end and see what happens at check-out. Some people pay the regular price rather than make a scene. As the steam rose in my brain a sweet, older lady approached to see if I was about to faint. Before I could sputter my anger, she said this: “Oh, honey. Those are buy one get TWO free. You need to ring up three and the price of two will be credited.”: What? WHAT!!!? She did it manually while I ran for a third package. When I returned, wow, another BBT!

As a senior, enough small things go wrong on a daily basis so when things go right, we are surprised into thinking they are BBTs. They’re not but here are a few examples of lesser, aspirational BBTs nonetheless. After the second hip surgery last month a walker became my constant companion for several weeks, along with an accessory I call “Reacher”. For the last two weeks I’ve dropped things on purpose just to enjoy the use of Reacher. My name is Robert and I am an addict.

Senior eyesight seems to get better and then get worse and then get better and then get worse…but it always gets better the day of my AMD shots**. It’s a BBT to see me ace those eye charts as a 73-year-old. Maybe one of the nurses will be impressed and ask me out…

My old (both old and former) girlfriend has reached “perfunctory response status” in regard to my texts and updates. Perfunctoriness (sic) leads to humorous responses. My text said some medical tests were positive but one was bad and needs more testing. Her response was “Good news!” BBT? I’ll accept the judge’s ruling.

Recent conversations have been about how many voices there are in our heads. It’s a BBT thing because I know, now, mine is not the only skull inhabited by more than just a Big Beautiful Brain. Or is it Ai speaking?  And how could I forget Thurber’s character, Walter Mitty? Or the movie “Inside Out”? Crap. I need to remember remembering is the first thing to go.

And then there is the Air Fryer. A YUGE*** BBT. As a man who loves to cook and hates to clean, my $24 Air Fryer from Walmart has raised the gastronomic level of life. Men living alone, pay attention: grilled cheese, day old chicken, two day old pizza, left-over hamburgers and hot dogs from July 4th, toast, and more, all done to perfection with minimal clean up, no butter, no saggy microwave structure, a wonderfully crisp, like new

I went away for a few moments. Don’t ask, just go get an Air Fryer.

** Do not google this procedure if you have a weak stomach. It happens to people like me every three months.

*** Thanks, Donald, for the new word. BBT!

Many Big, Beautiful Questions

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One. Big. Beautiful. Bill (OBBB). WTF? If the Republicans crammed all Trump’s legislative plans into OBBB are they done working for the rest of his term? What else is there for them to do? Investigate The Bidens? The Obamas? The details of OBBB will matter, soon, but right now, the sheer foolishness of putting so much legislation in one legislative bill makes you wonder why? Nearly every Small Ugly Bill (SUB) usually has one or two things a legislator can vote for and one or two things he/she is against, so imagine the love/hate salad of OBBB. The chutzpah of the Republican OBBB effort is astounding and revealing. Insecurity is the driving force of the Modern Republican Party Grievance Machine (MRPGM) and that insecurity is highlighted by OBBB. MRPGM knows they only have this year to get things done before voters correct themselves in 2026, just like they did in 2018. The MRPGM has to take a big bite of the political apple now, while they can. Plus, with all the legislative work done in 2025, MRPGM members are free to spend all of 2026 campaigning and spinning the damage assessments, and trying to get re-elected with more smoke and mirrors.**

Why are ICE and DHS making so many mistakes in their deportation zeal? Time will tell how much it is going to cost to fix the lives of present and future American Citizens who have been unlawfully detained and even deported. Wouldn’t a slower, steadier, and more measured deportation process make more sense in the long run? In fact, their idea of paying people to self-deport is probably the better way. It’s fair to guess some immigrants who are here legally, might not want to be here, anymore, America is so great, now. Note, too, all the stories about the troubles our tourism industry is having, these days.

And where were local law enforcement agencies when all the illegal immigrant murderers and rapists and drug dealers were allegedly cavorting freely in our towns and cities?

Did DOGE members label anything they didn’t understand as “waste, fraud, or abuse (WFA)’? Did the DOGE people understand any of what they were looking at? Did DOGE know the long-term benefits of the WFA they stopped? A program in my hometown is closing because DOGE has convinced Trump’s Office of Management and Budget not to spend the money already allocated to this program. It is a Grandparent Mentoring Program where grandparents “adopt” an elementary student and help the student learn both educationally and socially with in-school activities. It helped both students and grandparents for years. But not this coming school year. WFA?

Does the average American understand most of the WFA “discovered” by DOGE was legally researched, proposed, and voted on by elected American Senators and Representatives who knew why they were approving the expenditure and how important it might be? For example, due to cuts in “climate change research”–a favorite MRPGM bugaboo–farmers will no longer have current and extended weather forecasts to help them plan for crop planting, harvesting and even selection. WFA?

A reread of these questions points to one thing in common: lack of critical thinking. The Political Power Surge felt by the MRPGM, along with the knowledge The Surge won’t last long, has spurred the MRPGM into hasty, poorly thought out and even dangerous actions. One last question: WHY????

In Proverbs 12:19 King Solomon states: “Truthful words stand the test of time but lies are soon exposed.”

Let’s hope so.

** and the Democrats, too. lets hope someone learns…

Expectations? Don’t Bother.

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In thinking about happiness and well-being, and after years of observation and self-testing, my conclusion is we are our own worst enemies. We get in the way of happiness by not seeing it when it’s there and by not pursuing it when it isn’t. The sentence sounds odd so take a moment to think about it…

I’ve been a New York Yankee fan since 1960. Sixty-two years. When you are a sports fan, you get to live the highs and lows of the teams’ results. Championship years and cellar-dwelling years, it’s all a package. Happy when the World Series ends in victory, banners raised, and sad in years they don’t make the Series, and the season is over with a whimper. It’s easy to see when happiness comes and when it doesn’t. They win, we’re happy. They lose, we’re not. Is there anything we can do about it? No, especially when we are a small child listening to every play on the radio. You actually experience happiness and despair, clearly defined and unavoidable. Damn Yankees.

So what does that have to do with anything? It’s easy to live with the happiness thrust upon you by your team winning, but what about the unhappiness of losing? Ah, there’s always next year. In baseball, the following spring brings hope for a better year, a hope for seasonal happiness, a hope for the World Series Ring. For a sports fan hope becomes an expectation. Before any new games are played, we do not hope the Yankees will be better, we assume to know the Yankees will be better, we expect it. And when the Yankees lose, we are unhappy because an expectation not realized makes us unhappy.

And there it is in black and white: expectations are the cause of unhappiness. The measured and regulated nature of sports makes it obvious, including the annual renewal of “expectation” no matter what happened last year. A common fan’s announcement after an unhappy, expectation-denying season is “never again will I root for them”, a vow only kept until next season begins with a new hope/expectation.

But the damage expectations do to our lives is harder to see in real life. Why are some of us unhappy? Something in life didn’t go as planned, didn’t happen as we expected it to happen, and there is no choice but to feel unhappy about it. Marriage doesn’t meet our expectations, we divorce. Friends don’t meet our expectations, we dump them. Even in our dining habits, if a restaurant doesn’t meet our expectations we unhappily decide not to dine there again. We expect a diet to work? Potential unhappiness. We expect to get a job? Meet the girl of our dreams? Become an influencer? Be like Taylor?

But it is not the action or inaction making us unhappy. Unhappiness comes from the destruction of expectation and how we process that destruction.

You want to be happy? Don’t expect anything. Ever. At all. Enjoy the terrible meal. Enjoy the Yankees losing. Enjoy your girlfriend dumping you. At least be ambivalent, but don’t be unhappy. And you can expand the process into your philosophy of life: don’t expect happiness and you won’t be unhappy when you’re not happy…?

A little hyperbole helps make a point until it veers off into absurdity. Hm. If you expect to understand what makes you happy and you never do, you’ll always be unhappy? Or happy you understand you’ll never be happy?

That’s it. You got it. Want to be happy? Just be happy. Let things be what they are. Do your best, but don’t expect it to be better than anyone else’s expectation, especially if it really is better.

Final example and possible escape from this mess: A young female student sits behind a young male in class. She constantly complains to him about not meeting the “right” guy. It takes her the entire school year to see her expectation of the right guy is wrong and the guy in front of her is The Right Guy. They fall in love and marry, something neither of them expected, though the guy did hope. (Don’t think too hard about this one. It’s a true story but a poor example.)

I took a shot of tart cherry juice to clear my head for the final, really final thought. Hope is one thing, but expectation is another, different thing. Find the hope all around you and you’ll find happiness anytime you want it. Let hope fester into an expectation, you lose control.

Keep hope alive. You can do it.

PS Hope this sloppiness helped someone…I expect to hear about it, too.

Benign Bemusements

ness23456 Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

After years of complaining about drivers’ inability to understand and use a well-known and researched free life-saving safety device, blinkers, it is time for empathy, time to walk a mile in their shoes. This past Monday, the 13-mile, mainly four-lane highway drive from my home to the Fitness Center at Turning Stone was the time and place. I intended to drive the entire route without ever touching the turn signal arm. It is a drive of very few turns so…and it was performed at 4:30 AM so there were few witnesses…and victims…but…

The first 12 miles were glorious: the sheer audacity and freedom was intoxicating. I changed lanes on a whim. I made my one right turn onto the highway with total abandon and when the two lanes narrowed to one, I shifted over with a youthful, carefree exuberance. That joy filled my soul and I lost myself in it until in anticipation of a left turn into the parking garage, my now-unattended brain fired the nerve(s?) of my left arm. The left hand fell off the steering wheel, my eyes dropped to watch, and the left-hand fingers descended perfectly onto the turn signal lever. Could I catch myself in time to prevent disaster or was I doomed to repeat the past? Would the turn signal lever be strong enough to resist? Would it count if the light bulb was burned out and never flashed? Is Trump ruining the entire world?

I’ll try, again, on the way home.

Speaking of Trump, is it strange he decimates social, educational, medical, and scientific services in the name of “balancing the budget” and then spends billions on immigration deportations, domestic military policing, and parades? The American Public is (are?) the idiot(s) for allowing this to happen, and by electing him in the first place. Will we do anything about it?

Immigration reform is needed, but if we assume 1 in a 10,000 Americans is a criminal, it’s safe to assume 1 in 10,000 immigrants is a criminal, right? So we are deporting them all? Indiscriminately? Court cases alone will cost billions. It is a classic case of mismanagement made sadder by the hurt it is causing innocents. And is a perfect example of baby and bathwater. It is proof we need experienced professionals running our government who understand nuance or at least are willing to learn. HHS Chief RFK firing all 17 members of an advisory board to the CDC? He don’t need no stinkin’ advice.

Political doublespeak and the attendant physical contortions are not unique to the Republican Party, or to this day and age. Democrats are participants, too, as well as being quick learners. But I just watched Republican Representative Loeren Boebert in a US House hearing perfectly detail the causes, actions, and repercussions involved in an “insurrection”. Finally, I said to myself, someone on the Republican side sees it. Finally. But she was talking about Los Angeles. Find it on you tube and watch. It is the perfect example of political…umm…selective memory? Ignorance? Oblivion? She was innocently outraged, positive about all facts, and sure anyone who didn’t agree with her was stupid, unpatriotic, and un-American. Plus, she was shrill, one of her unique skills.  Unfortunately, I cannot remember a Democrat display so completely tone-deaf and absurd, but there probably is one, someplace. It is what politicians do and we reward them for it. Let’s vote them all out next time. All new for the future.

There are so many odd, sad, funny thoughts and things happening to us old people. This post was supposed to be about those things. But Ai is ruining everything, including my brain. Politics is an ear worm, now. Anyone know a cure? Maybe if politicians stopped being stupid and self-serving…?

See? Funny things.