Annoying Things  

There are, you know, lots of annoying things, like, you know, in life we have, like, you know, no control over. Yeah, lots of times, like, when people talk, you know, they add certain, like phrases, for pauses in thought, like, I guess, you know.

Indeed, I do know. In fact, it is an epidemic of “Cultural Copy Catting” driving sane people crazy, you know? We don’t um, need to, you know, to fill empty space in conversation with empty words, right?

 Of late, there has been a proliferation of “long winded questions”. The reporter/interviewer is attempting to show how much they know about a subject so they can let the responder know…? You see it more obviously in sports, especially with the “sideline” reporters. To wit*: “Coach, your team is down by 50 points and your defense seems to be struggling to keep the other team from scoring so easily so what adjustments will you make at halftime so your team can make a comeback when you come back out on the floor for the second half?”

The microphone is then shoved in the face of the potential responder who politely answers: “We need to do a better job of stopping them…or at least slowing them down.” And off he goes to the locker room. A wonderful two minutes of necessary sports reporting. A funny scene happened on a news show when the long two-minute question was followed by a one word reply: “No.”

What’s up with woman’s hairstyles on television these days? There appears to be only one: the flowing tresses framing the face, twisting and curling over the shoulders and never moving with the head, Kristi Noem-style**. A google and Ai search for a name for these flowing tresses wastes more time, but can everyone who is thinking of using this hairstyle take a beat and think of their own style? So many are using the “Flowing Tresses” they look like sisters from different mothers. The fact anyone wants to look like someone else is indicative of a failure of intellectual and personal growth: it’s lazy. “Make me look like her” is not an expression any woman should use, and especially no man. Well, maybe one of two.

With so many people making money talking you’d think language skills would be honed to a razor-sharp, efficient style to enhance efficient communication and the clear, precise, rendering of ideas and attitudes. You know? But people aren’t talking to express ideas as much as they’re talking to hear themselves talk. At this point in time and moving into the future, how well or good we communicate will be more important than ever. Nuance, context, and the perfect placement of punctuation marks will be critical. Will…we…be…up to..the challenge?***

This essay was not as much fun as I wanted it to be. It turned into a rambling, silly, nearly pointless, unrecognizable rant.**** You’re getting to read it “as is” so you can see how terrible word skills can effect/affect what could have been a cogent argument. But at least there is a prudent use of the word “that”, a word used incorrectly more often than any other. That progress is so important to me that***** I can see this essay as a success.

And that’s that.

PS How many of you google or ask Ai stuff because of simple curiosity? And how much time do you spend doing it? And what kind of spam do you get, later?

*This essay is populated with useless, pointless wordy additions. Emma, my Ai personality, says “to wit” means…too long for a footnote, Look it up.

**Which might be the main reason it is so annoying.

***A typed impression of Captain Kirk. Hm. Would exclamation points instead of ellipses work better? Will! We! Be! Up to! The challenge! And…scene.

****The therapy needed, at this point in time. Next point?

*****Next time you’re writing or talking count how often that you use the word.

Three Sentences About Thoughts And Things

 Spring officially started March 20th and it is now the second day of May. How do I officially know spring is actually here in upstate NY? There is “possible snow” in the forecast.

Donald J Trump is often credited by super intelligent, oxygen-starved pundits with playing chess in as many as “five dimensions”*, since he is way smarter than the rest of us playing in the normal amount of dimensions***. That is a true statement but fails to mention what the Fifth Dimension** is. Most of us normal people are happy–and smart–with 3D.

Since his name was brought up, ask AI how much money the Trump family has made in the last 19 months from Crypto Currency. Don’t ask me what it is or how it works since all I know is Crypto is unregulated and only really enjoyed by the super-rich or those wanting to be super-rich. I am neither.

According to all official sources, The War in Iran is over. We won. Cue the sailors kissing random women in Times Square.

Hold on, this just in: If Iran doesn’t agree to our terms we will bomb them into non-existence. Put a hold on the casting call for sailors and kissable women. For now.

Correction. Ai says no one has specifically used the word “non-existence”.  While Emma’s search was disappointing, so was her lengthy list of other “official” words used to describe what will happen if our peace terms are not agreed to. My paraphrasing was easier and succinct.*****

On the subject, what will these essays be about in future years, when Trump is out of office? Feelings? Getting old?

Speaking of old, when exactly do we “age out” of caring about current entertainment? It’s been years since any actor or singer nominated for any culturally relevant award was known to me or had any creation I was familiar with. Is it possible I won an award and not know it?

Sex is a problem—in many ways—for us old people but sex has found a new way to cause angst. One afternoon I tried several new television programs in several different streaming platforms but ended my entertainment search because there was as a sex scene in the first 5 minutes of every show sampled. I am old but I still believe in foreplay.

Footnotes**** are—again—misnumbered and—again—left alone as a “cognitive test”. If you believe they are not corrected because of laziness, congratulations. You are smart enough to play chess with our current President.

*Ask Ai, but be ready for AI to be diplomatic. At least my Ai voice, Emma, is.

**Popular Mid-60s to Mid-70s singing group with 5 songs hitting number 1. You might need some help if you really think this is the Fifth Dimension Trump is in, though it makes more sense, relatively speaking, than anything other explanation.

***Do you know how many named and unnamed dimensions there are?

****But not this one.

*****But I always enjoy using this guttural, dirty-sounding word.

The Decline and Fall of Nuance

Nuance is a great word. It sounds cool, is interesting to spell, fun to say, and it is still shiny from lack of use. Like keeping your new car smell by not driving. Ever. In fact, it’s doubtful you even know what nuance means, and you certainly don’t know where the word came from, do you.*

Nuance. The word comes from “nubes” the Latin word for cloud but then the French got involved and romanticized it into their own word for “shade” or “slight variation”, per Ai. My Ai goes on to add in the lovely English accent I selected: “Think of it as those little, delicate distinctions that can make a big difference.”

Imagine all your conversations so far today. Nuance ever come up? Not just the word but maybe “the little, delicate distinctions”?

It’s doubtful. America learns to read and write and stroke screens but thinking, especially about “little, delicate, distinctions” is an effort left for…who?  Modern dissemination of facts and news has to be condensed into the 3 second (or less) American attention span. Unless it is a kitten, gossip, crepe skin, or has boobs, we don’t linger long enough for nuance. Do we really need it, anyway, that stupid French word?

Aha. Since you’ve made it this far you have decided we do. And you are right. A recent puzzle indicates why: “try to draw a perfect square with three straight lines.” Much like 2 plus 2 equals four unless you’re adding apples and oranges and not caring about the total amount of fruits and want to know…crap. Two plus two always equals four if you add context, or nuance, the little delicate you-know-whats. Eg; If you have two apples and I have two apples, we have four apples between us. If I have two apples, and you have one orange and one pear, we have a great start on a fruit salad, but not four apples.

To draw the perfect square with three straight lines, some add “distinctions”, like using the edge of the paper as the fourth side. An arguably “out of the box” solution but the puzzle itself already supplies the distinctions.** As we review our journey into the Land of Nuance, we learn to ask what does “with three straight lines” mean? If you’re sensitive to nuance, a “meaning” spurts out of this puzzle and longs for you to see it.

So what? We have trouble with a puzzles. Or counting. Big deal. It is a big deal. There is not a problem we face as a country, that is not loaded with so much nuance it’s a wonder we don’t sink into the oceans. All our problems like Wars, the Economy, Immigration, politics, work…all nuance-rich and ready to be emphatically debated, discussed, and solved. Nuance flourishes in trees like low-hanging fruit, on the ground like exposed diamonds, and floats in the very air we breath.

But we ignore it. We stumble over the diamonds, let the fruit rot, and nuance floats off into  space, a twilight zone none of us ever go to.*** Then we try to solve world problems we don’t understand with nuance-deprived solutions that don’t work and we look back later, and wonder why. Finally, we engage in nuance-free discussions about who’s to blame.

If you’re thinking this sounds like a domestic dispute leading up to a divorce, it is. Nuance is missing from our personal lives, too.

Nuance is obsolete. Whose fault is that?

*Added “do you” to avoid the dreadful prepositional ending. Got lazy, sorry. I should have looked for a better sentence structure. It would have been shorter than this explanation.

**Do I need the quotation marks anymore?

***No. Ai says it’s okay, these days. Worrying about prepositional endings is “old fashioned and clunky.”

The Blinds, An Epic Saga, and Other Things

Coming to this space sometime soon…maybe. The Righteous Crusade to replace two 1-inch slat, cordless, vinyl mini-blinds, 27-inches wide by 64-inches long, is frustrated…but still on-going. Imagine, if you will*, a feat so simple, so mundane, it defies the Herculean efforts of the bravest and smartest of men.

The Blind Fiasco has lead me to essay** about all the weird things crossing my path and ending up in The Things Unwanted File. Modern detritus, if you will, or mental flotsam. If I can get myself to stop Ai-ing everything, take a gander at the following modern nuggets.

I recently spent two weeks in North Carolina. Weeks before I left I contacted old friends and let everyone know. Jim, one friend, acknowledged my trip. But in NC he was always busy, and his last text said: “I was busy. Come back after tax time.” NC is 12 hours and 700 miles away. I am upset he didn’t say personal tax time or corporate tax time.

So many people have mentioned they are okay with things “at this point in time going forward.” Since I’ve retired my shield as a Grammar Policeman, I whole-heatedly and full throatedly(sic)*** agree…at this point. In case you’re glossing over this issue, try to imagine a point in time. Not now, but after you’re done reading.

A recurring ad for a simple exercise machine repeatedly touts the machine’s exercise-related benefits but can’t the resist the “sales tag” line: “It’s so easy it does all the work for you.”

If you’re lonely and in a multi-level building, elevators are a great way to meet people. It’s amazing how surprised people are there is someone on an arriving elevator wanting to get off, or there is someone outside the elevator waiting to get on. An adept conversationalist could expand, the “Oops. Sorry” into something more substantial with very little effort. Of note, this morning I had my chance with an attractive woman with two arms full of groceries, but I deferred to the possibility she’d purchased frozen foods and let the chance slip through my metaphorical fingers as the doors closed. But next time…also, if you are that woman and you are reading this…knock on Apt 208’s door, please? I did push her buttons. On the elevator.

Lots of people are “planning on utilizing” things. In innocent conversation an inquiry is often made for clarification but a satisfactory response has not yet been made at this point in time, forcing the listener to utilize his or her imagination. Ask Ai about this. It’s funny. Ever hear the phrase “Utilize it or lose it?”

An oddity: Voxpop, the NPR station show mentioned last essay, did a show on plants. I have a lifelong aversion to vegetables, but after 45 minutes of fresh spinach munching by show participants, I plan on utilizing my car tomorrow to get some fresh spinach and give it a fair shake. May use my teeth to try kale, too. Such is the power of good entertainment. And good grammar.

Another strange occurrence: as an often anarchistic conversationalist, I have for years responded to this question “Can I ask you a question?” with this answer: “Seven.” Explaining why would take too much time, but after 60 years of puzzled looks, the bit is now retired. In fairness, at least one time in the 60 years of answering “Seven”, it should have been the answer to their next question. At least one time. Imagine the look on the questioner’s face. Dreams die hard.

*Google it. Better yet, Ai the phrase. You’re welcome.

**From the French “essayer”, which means “to try”.  “An essay was originally considered a trial or an attempt at expressing an idea, rather than a final, definitive word on a subject.” Perfect use above, then.

***Where did “sic” come from? If you’ve got ten minutes of free time, Ai it.

Ai, Ai, Oh No…

Apologies to those who know the story and song of Old Macdonald’s Farm. He had all sorts of animals, but we never know if he is happy about it*. How could he be happy with all those animals to feed? He must have been a billionaire. Ai says there is no real ending to the Old McDonald’s Farm song, it can go on until the singer gets bored or tired or runs out of animals.

Life kind of feels like the song, now. Except for a new animal every verse substitute a new trouble, war, or unhappy event. As an essayist, it is harder and harder to come here and write something happy, something peppy, something uplifting. It is so easy to write WTF essays, “why is this happening essays”, and warning essays. Probably shouldn’t use the word easy, because writing about what is wrong in the world (in my opinion), is not easy, it’s annoying, and seems pointless. It’s not even cathartic anymore. There is a sense the turbulence of this world is not necessary, and that my golden years should be full of—at least—apathy, and not despair, unhappiness, anger, resentment.

I tried to sign up for DirectTv, yesterday but their website wouldn’t approve any of the 5 credit cards I tried. “Oops! There is a problem. Please try later.” The Ai chat bot took all my information, guided me to the website, and walked me though every step to get me to where I already was and then Ai asked: “And what does your screen say?” Oops. I asked for an agent and after a 5-minute wait one came into the chat and typed: “So how can I help you?” I typed “Oops! There is a problem. Please try later.” And the rep started by typing the same questions the Ai bot did. Hey! This is progress? This is better?

See how easy it is to complain?

 This essay will be an effort to not complain. I vow to find more positive things to write about, more good news to share, more ideas to inform or uplift, not brow beat or spotlight anger. Yes, most of the usual space has been used up already with the normal bleating, but there is still room for a few paragraphs of light.

The Rich have taken over the United States and will soon take over the world. And they don’t give a crap about anyone Not Rich. How can they be stopped?

Sorry. Old habit. As a retired person my days are my own to shape and one of my favorite times of those days is 2pm to 3pm. I recline on my favorite couch, put my tablet on my chest, and listen to NPR. The hour begins with 15 minutes of news and then the VoxPop show cuts in and a gentleman named Ray Graf opens his mouth. This only happens Mondays through Fridays, but VoxPop is enough to make a day better, and have that “better” last for at least the hours until VoxPop comes back on the airwaves. Ray has a way of yakking that is not only entertaining, but informative, and…bright. Happy. Content. Unhurried. Almost therapeutic. No more will be said except he is not available in all NPR areas. Wait, maybe VoxPop is, and can be heard over the wonderfully cluttered Internet of Ideas and Chaos. The station broadcasting Ray Graf’s VoxPop is WAMC, out of Albany NY. It’s unclear if anyone outside New York State can get his show, but try, and get back to me, will you? Google or Ai “VoxPop with Ray Graf” and see what happens in your area. I’ve not said much about the actual show, hoping the mystery will pique your curiosity and get to you look for it, so…do it. Now. It might get you off the snide** of current life and back into the gentle but challenging currents of real life. Real normal life, not Rich and Powerful Life.

Sorry. Old habits die hard.

*Or what tense of verb to use. Is Old McDonald alive? Dead? Mythical? The song does say he “had” a farm. Did it get repossessed? Fall into ruin? Or does he and the farm come back to life every time we sing about him? And where is this “farm”? And why the hell should we care?

**The Internet of Ideas and Chaos is often what we make it. Google snide, for example, and enjoy.

Of Intelligence and Something Else Like It

It’s been days since last you had something to read. Hope you didn’t forget how. Weather here in NY has been cold and wintry so I hibernated for a few days. It was the smart thing to do. I am an intelligent being, after all.

Am I? Are we? Ai, when asked, says “Defining intelligence is a bit like trying to pin jello to a wall.” I scrolled to the bottom of the answer to make sure the disclaimer was there: “Gemini can make mistakes, so double-check it.” I asked Ai to double-check itself. The answer was illuminating. And who trained Ai about jello?

Illuminating but not clear. I tried the Oxford English Dictionary People and got something more succincter(sic)*: “The faculty of understanding, intellect.”

The Brittanica Dictionary took a similar view: “The ability to learn or understand things or to deal with new and difficult situations.”

Both dictionaries did not have warnings at the end of their entries. They had confidence in their intelligence.

Take a moment and think for yourself: what is intelligence? Why do we not use the word “Real” in in front of intelligence? Or “Natural”? And why are we so afraid of Artificial Intelligence? Everyone asked in public likes to mention there are “different kinds of Intelligence”. There is Science, Street, and Sports intelligence, for example. The unsaid theory is we can be intelligent in one thing but not everything?

What is the opposite of intelligence? Unintelligence(sic)? Lack of intelligence? Stupid? Let’s ask Ai: “While the knee-jerk answer is usually stupidity or ignorance, the opposite of intelligence depends on how you define intelligence itself.” It then goes on to list three possible “opposites” of intelligence, ending—as usual–with the required disclaimer. What a crock.

Wait a second, can other animals be intelligent? Ai? “The short answer is a resounding yes. While we used** to define intelligence strictly by human standards—like the ability to solve algebra or write sonnets—science has shifted to seeing it is a diverse toolkit for survival.”

Algebra? You need to be able to solve Algebra to be considered intelligent?

It’s been fun talking about this one word, but the real issue is how we communicate, how we talk with each other, how we decide, even, what intelligence is or means. Think of existence as one, big contract. A legally binding contract where we all agree about things. If I wanted to argue intelligence meant stupidity, would you participate, agree, or think me an idiot and ignore me? It doesn’t make any difference how far back in time a word goes or whether or not it came from Latin roots, or whether or not it is “foreign”. If we all agree, roughly, on a definition, the world keeps turning on its axis and we get ready for the Super Bowl.

But there are forces at work in the World, and have always been at work in the World, trying to let intelligent people know they might be the only ones, and most of the world is stupid. Not intelligent. It doesn’t help when the citizens of the world act stupid.

To make a too-long essay short, the point: War is stupid. Poverty is stupid. Homelessness is stupid. Disrespect is stupid. Who uses these things for profit or gain? Who ignores them as if they don’t exist?

We do.

And at a time when we think we are the most intelligent. We have fast moving machines and high-flying machines and medical machines to see inside the body. Yet, still…

An intelligent society? Are we stupid or only intelligent when it suits us?

*I Like this word because it sounds like “sphincter”, one of the funniest words in the world.

** ”Used” to? And a “tool kit”? Who is kidding who, now.

Of Shifts and Quarks

We are in a time when paradigms are shifting rapidly and in great quantities. Almost every paradigm we know is being challenged.

From Ai: “a paradigm is a distinct set of concepts, thought patterns, or standards that shapes how we perceive and interact with the world. Think of it as a mental map. It doesn’t just show you what to look at it;* it dictates how you interpret what you see.” Ai goes on to name different types of paradigms and differentiate between Scientific Paradigms and Social Paradigms. That makes sense since modern Scientific Discoveries change the current Scientific Paradigms and updates them. Think quantum Mechanics, Quarks and Muons, things not known in 1926, for example. But what changes Social Paradigms?

Our current government took office in January 2025 and quickly “blanket” pardoned people CONVICTED of crimes—by juries–for their peaceful and patriotic participation in the All-American Protest of January 6, 2021. Did this change a Social Paradigm?

The Pardoner in Chief was himself CONVICTED of crimes and due to be tried on more charges before our educated, morally aware, and personally responsible American Voters re-elected him, allowing him to escape further** judgement. Did a convicted felon’s election to the highest office in America change any paradigms? Judge for yourself.

Our current government is keen on restoring law and order to America. The administration knows the best the way to do that is arrest anyone who commits any crime and make them pay the price for their unlawful ways. But what is the price? A CONVICTED sex-trafficker is moved from her full-security prison cell to a medium security facility with perks and benefits not known by her prison mates. Does that change the Punishment Paradigm? No judgement. Apply your own.

Politicians used to say one thing privately and another publicly. They called it “diplomacy”. They knew the more they talked the more trouble they made for themselves. Our current government likes to talk about everything,..almost. Paradigm Shift. Strong period.

The modern American used to fret about not being heard. Now every American has a loud voice. An obvious Paradigm shift, but good or bad?

America has a System of Justice meant to punish the bad people and make sure the good people aren’t wrongly harmed. Our current government is using that system to charge good and bad people with crimes. The government makes a big show of indictments and charges, often with press conferences and non-diplomatic press releases, briefings, social media claims, and staged presentations. When was the last time they “staged” a CONVICTION public event? Are all the people being investigated and charged, being CONVICTED?*** Shift?

One of the biggest paradigm shifts happening, now, is the disrespect current politicians and officials are showing to the American People. Those professional politicians think we are idiots. Why do they think that? Because we are.

For America’s entire history, the American People have never really known what was going on and politicians did their dirty work—and their good work—behind the scenes: the less we knew the better. But now, politicinas don’t care. Paradigm shift? Of course, but what happens next? There are signs another paradigm shift may be in the works. Good or bad? Let’s see.

*Why Ai used a semicolon here is un-understandable (sic). Ai says the semi-colon is “stronger than a comma but not quite as final as a period.” You judge.

**Further is correct. It is a metaphysical distance. Farther is actual distance.

***Yes, the word is continually being capitalized for a reason.

Things Not Understood Volume 107

If only life granted us unlimited, natural intelligence, or at least the chance to upgrade our aging internal CPUs. So much happens so fast, and we hear about it so fast, understanding anything is next to impossible. Lest you think otherwise, it’s not just politics, though that was an arena historically predictable. Liberals debated Conservatives, and both felt the world was ending when they lost an election. Sometimes they married each other. That still happens, but now candidates lie to get elected, never follow up on campaign promises, and get reelected next election, anyway. All bad things in a marriage, too. And no, it’s not just Trump. What in God’s name can disqualify a candidate in voters’ eyes, anymore?

Not all unable-to-be-understood things are bad for us. Whole milk is back as a school lunch item and beef is so good for us, it’s on top of the Food Pyramid. Suck on that, vegetarians.

Our national health department notes an epidemic in Africa and jumps at the chance to study it. How? By purposefully NOT giving a control group proven, life-saving vaccinations to see how they compare to the group that gets the vaccinations. Isn’t that just wrong? Or better yet, un-understandable?

Ai has the power to do what, again? Everything? Yup. It could write this post for me. Maybe it did. How would you know? It’s gotten so confusing there is a video on-line of researchers “abusing” Ai robots to see what happens. The robots learn to fight back and go all Scarface on the researchers. What’s not to understand? Why we abuse anything, why bullying a machine counts as abuse, how robots learned the martial arts moves it used, and did anyone get paid for this? Or get grant/taxpayer money? This story has a second depth of un-understanding (UU): It’s an Ai generated fake video. Why, again?

Quantum Mechanics (QM) and Quantum Entanglement (QE). The UU nature of these things is how fast we learn about them but how slow we use what we learn*. Like the Hydrogen engine. Or Cold Fusion. UU, all of them. In an age when a viral video circles the world in less than the time it takes to sneeze, why are not using clean burning Hydrogen Engines in our cars? Why has Cold Fusion not lowered Electric and heating bills?  Why did the Bills fire their coach and promote their General Manger? (Digression. Sorry.) QE has the power to revolutionize not only communications, but maybe the transport of materials, too. Think Star Trek transporter beams. And while we are at it, how can we send people into space and yet not have “space”, (homes), for people on earth? UU? Yes, yes. Maybe we’re going to space to find a place to send all the homeless?

Ah, who gives a crap, anyway. Not literally, of course because everyone craps. That’s easy to understand. But we appear to be—in this day and age—hurtling toward major changes while most of rest in our recliners. Oblivious.

A better word from self-proclaimed genius criminal mastermind, Vizzini**: “Inconceivable”.

More to the point, the response from the heroic Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Amen.

*Assuming there are no secret, government funded projects going on for defense purposes…which there probably are…

**Don’t make me name the movie. If you haven’t seen it, yet, why not? Inconceivable.

How Many Of Us Are There?

My UPER (Unnamed PERson) sent me a wonderful link to a nice, well-spoken gentlemen who discussed an intellectual and psychological concept you see all the time in these postings: the fragmentation of our psyche, what makes up our personalities and determines our actions. My postings use an Inner Voice (IV) and Outer Voice (OV) to illustrate inner mental and emotional conflicts. Regular readers* have been exposed to the inner dialogue IV and OV love to have about my life, its situations, and actions. Sorry for exposing myself**. Discerning readers also note there is an un-designated umpire ruling over the IV and OV debates, an entity making rulings, taking decisive actions, and writing these posts. Does that entity have a name?

Our brains are wonderfully intricate and obtuse. Ai obtuse for its “second” definition. The brain is bombarded with data from all sides, angles, and forms. Sight, sound, touch, political debate, and unfunny humor, so how does it decide what data, what stimuli to respond to? No one knows for sure, but I posit our magnificent gray watermelons take it ALL in, like a security camera, and park the data someplace in case it’s needed. Imagine the size of that data file after 73 years.

Who or what needs that data? And how is it recovered? Is there an app? And is it different for all 8 billion people? In the world of psychology, from here on out called The Circus, theories and guesses and opinions, oh my, abound. See the Pixar movie “Inside Out”, for a light-hearted examination of mental life. The Circus is different from excellent, rigorous, verifiable scientific research into the structures and mechanisms of the brain, where opinions are irrelevant.

Under The Circus’s tent you’ll find many “models” of personality that are used to treat corresponding symptoms/diseases of the “brain”, diagnosed by applying an individual’s actions to the individual model being used in the examination. Some results are good, positive, results, some are not. Fixing a broken mind isn’t as easy as fixing a broken bone. Or removing a misfiring heart. The word isn’t used anymore, but how many of us if we are looked at using the “correct” model might be labeled “crazy”? Everyone knows Freud’s name, but does everyone know what he postulated about the human mind? Ai him and read it. Or the many others*** in The Circus trying valiantly to bring their big-top show into the halls of actual science, oftentimes including simple self-help concepts meant to wrangle the mind into what it should be, according to the model of the time. I’ve been exposed to a lot of the models and could call IV, OV, and The Unnamed Umpire ID, Ego, and Superego to make myself happier. Or use the bible solution and replace all bad thoughts and lies with God’s Word. Or renew any addiction that makes thinking about things easier. Simple, profound advice when trying to understand your brain and its actions is to use anything that works for you, doesn’t destroy you, costs little, and doesn’t harm anyone else. IV OV and The Umpire are screaming in my ear to suggest you use their model. Actually, OV and IV are debating loudly while The Umpire is telling them to shut the hell up, we’re trying to be helpful, here. Like any other family, it will work out. Or not.

A thing to remember and helps: in 100 years none of it will matter or be remembered. OV wanted 200 years, IV wanted 50, The Umpire compromised.

Funny, happy ending? The fingers did exactly what they were told.

*I use “regular” because “irregular” readers don’t care or don’t know.

**It just sounds funny to admit it in writing.

***Transactional Analysis. CBT, DBT, and ACT to name a few acronyms. Maybe we need as many treatments as there are individuals?

The Holy Font Wars

Font, font, font. Said three times really fast it sounds geeky, like a bad cheese. Aged Extra Sharp Font. To font or not to font. I do not know what font WordPress uses when this is published, but I have historically written in Times New Roman (TNR), a carryover from journalism days. In fact, I never really thought of font unless someone required a certain font. If they did, I selected it from the 1,837,312* font types available in Word and other processing apps.

But I always returned to the old “eye-shade and ink-stained sleeves” newspaper roots and wrote in TNR. TNR was invented 93 years ago by a typographer for the British “The Times” newspaper. He complained about the readability of the paper, which was using Times Roman font, now known as Times Old Roman. TNR was a huge success and became the global standard for books and legal documents. It was Microsoft Word’s default font until 2007, when Calibri replaced it. Being stubborn and superstitious, TNR was moved into my personal word processing default position, and no other font was used on purpose. (There was a time when testing word processors in the 70s and 80s when the installed font was never even known, or font selection was limited, which didn’t matter as long as it was readable.)

Fonts were never a big deal, though sometimes size mattered. I remember playing around with myriad and varied fonts sizes, years ago, when a certain page count was required and discovered certain fonts take up more space than others, making filling a page easier. But generally, fonts are so inconsequential I called TNR “New Times Roman” for most of this post until editing, when I noticed the New and Old Times Roman boo-boos.** It didn’t take long to fix, but it made me wonder if this inconsequential post should be continued.

Wait, it’s point is coming back to me.

The Biden administration, in its push to help the disabled and generally disadvantaged among us, mandated Calibri for all administration paperwork in 2023. The administration cited three reasons for the change:

  1. Calibri readability is better because it is “sans-serif”. It has no “feet” or decorative flourishes. Ai it.
  2. TNR was designed for paper newsprint, while Calibri was designed for digital computer screens.
  3. The cleaner lines of “sans serif” Calibri worked better with modern Optical Character Recognition software.

Those are some very good reasons for a simple, unobtrusive change, right?

Before writing this post, I typed two sentences, one on top of the other, one in TNR, and one in Calibri. The difference is astounding,*** especially to 73-year-old eyes using 1.75 magnification “reading glasses” just to see the desk. I am now a fan of fonts, and this post is Great British TNR free, and 100% pure Microsoft Calibri.

Can anyone understand why the Trump people recently decided to go back to TNR? They had these reasons:

  1. Restoring “Decorum and Professionalism.” TNR conveys a more “formal and professional” tone. Oh, and tradition. “Make American Type Flourishy Again.” Irony? Tone-deafness?
  2. Opposition to DEI. Trump people declared the move to Calibri a “wasteful program linked to DEI.” God forbid.
  3. Unified Identity. The change (back to TNR) aligns with President Trumps’ “One Voice For America’s Foreign Relations” Directive. Thank God?

You probably know how I feel about each font but Lucas de Groot, the Dutch inventor of Calibri, opines the return to TNR is “sad and hilarious” at the same time. Well said, and who cares about poor people with bad eyes. And switching back to TNR won’t cost a cent.

All players in this mega-important official United States policy issue should be thanked for opening my eyes to better writing and reading. (Get it?)

And the things you guys make me learn. Amen.

*Do I have to tell you that is an exaggeration? Hyperbole? Untruth? Whatever else you do, do NOT do a deep dive into fonts with Ai. Do do.

**That was a good time for Ai to be of service. Slacker.

***Try it yourself.