football

Things Overheard During Football Games

ness23456 Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

If you don’t care about football, move on…

Sports announcers have lost the ability to talk in complete sentences, let quiet moments be quiet, avoid pycho-babble, and simply make sense. And they love copy-catting (sic). At first, turning the sound off made sense, but was a comedy goldmine was being missed?

Let’s start with phrases all football announcers seem to use. See if they make any sense and picture hearing them every freaking game, three or four times.

“He’s got two time-outs in his pocket.” Confusing remark about game-time management and a coach with imaginary things stuck in real, small places. Meaning: “The team has two timeouts left.”

“He needs to dial-up the pressure.” Nice way of saying the defense sucks and the coach has to get “more pressurey(sic)”. Get it? Think, water, if you’re having trouble.

“He lives for this moment.” And its variant: “He’s dreamed of this moment since playing in the backyard.” Announcers’ projection about why some players play well when they need to play well. Not sure of a phrase used for those who don’t play well when they need to play well. “Choke?” Be nice if some announcer tried it.

“He’s very athletic.” This phrase is used by all sports announcers and let’s us know that as we watch high-level athletes perform they are…athletic. As of this date I have never heard of any football participant being called “unathletic”. It will be noted if it happens.*

“I don’t know what he was seeing, there.” Common phrase used by announcers, fans, and players when a quarterback throws an interception. It’s on this list because it is an honest, factual response but leads to former football players turned announcers trying to explain not only what the present player saw, but what the present player should have seen and done. Called “second-guessing” by normal people.

“He’s a leader in the locker room and has a high football-IQ.” It’s never apparent what the announcer is trying to tell us. Are most players not intelligent? Or is there a “streets smart” version of intelligence in football? Often, poor performing players are praised by the remark, and are usually let go or traded soon after. Sometimes, it refers to a very good player who is hurt but contributing on the side-line with general cheer-leader support, or actual “let’s look at the replay” technical support for his replacement. Most time the remark is generated—in my opinion—by a random comment made by a friend of the “leader”, or a self-serving sideline reporter question: “You’re a leader on this team what do you think of how bad your team is playing?” for example. It is often asked of any player who will take the time to answer.

“The coaches haven’t had time to get him up to speed.” Usually this is said about a top draft pick or trade who is under-performing. The statement refutes the importance of practice and coaching which leads to the question “What IS going on at practice?” It is especially pertinent in the professional ranks where it is their JOB.

We’re running out of room and haven’t addressed the worst announcer’s offence: Nonstop talking. It begins with announcing teams being two-man teams. ** One guy is supposed to “speak the game” presumably—and rightfully—so vision impaired fans know what is happening. The second guy is the “color guy” who provides insights and knowledge we might not know. It’s tough to manage talk time to begin with, but most “color” guys are ex-players or coaches intent on reshaping their legacy. They need to let us poor, non-playing souls know how smart they are. One of the “comic gold” times mentioned earlier is when altruistic time management gives way to two Alpha males and leads to nail-biting drama as both get as many words in the 40 seconds as they can before the ball is snapped for the next play. The time a quarterback approaches the line of scrimmage, evaluates the defense, and calls the correct play is a “Sacred Time” to all knowledgeable fans. *** Too often all we hear is bloviating announcers.

Last remark, promise ****. In a recent game a penalty was called on the team with the ball. The referee stated–to the entire stadium and television audience—”the ball will be placed half the distance from the start.” There was no further explication so don’t miss the complex humor.

*Imagine “choke” and “unathletic” being used at the same time. Makes sense.

**No woman, yet, in the NFL booths.

***In the “huddle” two plays are called. At The Sacred Time, The QB picks one.

****Never heard it before, and probably never will.

Three Sentences…Again

ness23456 Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A  new, worst traffic enemy plagued me three times this past week. It is the car (removing all personality from this complaint) whose brake lights come on before the turn signal. New curse words were invented each time.

Streaming services have lost their collective minds as each time I look for a better one, their advertisements tout their “over 100 channel” line up. If someone watches two channels at a time (one for each eye), for one hour at a time, for 10 hours a day, in five days they will have viewed all the channels for which they paid over $100. If either of those two sentences make any sense to you…

My Late-life discovery of ear buds and “you tube” music videos continues to amaze. Every day in July I listened to parts of the April 2025 Madison Square Garden concert of The Brothers, an Allman Brothers legacy spinoff which includes two original members from 1975. Google “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed”, insert buds, recline, and enjoy.

My recent—and last—hip replacement surgery went as planned thanks to the brilliant Dr. Wickline and the exceptionally enjoyable Apex Surgery Center in Westmoreland, NY. The June 18 surgery was more than enjoyable, and almost fun. Makes me wonder what joint to replace in the future.

Local Trump supporters are getting a little antsy. Their “letters to the editor” have increased in volume but not in fact or relevance, and they are using the Trump trick of throwing stuff out to see what sticks. The saddest part of our entire political scene is neither party can see that with the current polarity, strict party affiliation means EVERYTHING “the other party” does is bad, even if it isn’t.

Trump recently posted angry words about a Gayle King. I’ve no idea who she is but I can’t help but wonder why he bashed her. One of the questions I ask Trump supporters is “Would you like Donald Trump to be a member of your own family?

Turning Stone Resort is a 24-hour casino/resort so last Sunday–after my 6 am fitness group–I went to the 24-hour restaurant for a hearty, healthy breakfast. Not much else was open and there were very few people (one of the reasons for going early) until I passed the Smoke Shop. Over 20 people were waiting in line for tobacco products.

The New York Yankees suck. The Yankees suck. The Yankees suck…this year.

It’s hard to know what to eat, these days. As I recover from cancer treatments the best way to build back one part of the body causes havoc with another part. How vitamins, minerals, proteins, iron, water, cherry juice, potassium, and pizza all work together is very confusing.

I purchased glasses on line for a lot less money than my local eye center wanted and the on-line company promised 24-hour customer service. When my order got lost by USPS, however, I was dropped into automated hell dealing with bots and phone trees leading to bots. The Ai future is here.

When will it all end?

What? Football season is here? Thank, God.

Interesting Things I’ve heard, lately

ness23456 Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

There are so many sporting events these days, there is a dearth of announcing talent. In a recent game I heard an announcer say this with all the confidence of a man who knows everything: “You can bet (this player) won’t miss this foul shot. He’s a great free throw shooter. Made 52 percent of his shots so far this year.” For non-sports people 52% is NOT a good number and the shooter did miss the shot. In the same game: “You have to be impressed by their fight the first ten minutes of this second half. They’ve clawed their way back to within 8 points after being down by 8 at the end of the first half.” Most modern announcers not only speak to fill time, but also work hard to make you see how smart they are. Like this former football coach turned announcer: “If it were me, I’d never pass the (football) again. The (other team) is ready for it.” The “other team” wasn’t, probably thinking the same as the old coach? The first team passed and scored a long touchdown.

Its okay, but no one ever acknowledges being wrong. Or gets fired. Or turns down the check. Modern American values, these days.

Speaking of American Values, for some really interesting answers ask any MAGA/Trump supporter when was the last time America Was Great. If they answer, that is. Most babble and bash Biden. Or Obama.

Here’s an easy one. I’m looking at my wall of windows and all I see is white. I look at my weather app and see sunshine. No snow in the next ten days. Yes, I did double check to make sure the app was set to the right location. By the way, if I hadn’t and learned I hadn’t, an apology would be here, trust me. Truthfully, I would have just deleted this paragraph. No need for you to know how stupid I might be, is there?

Back to politics, and apologies for picking on Republicans, but they are the most egregious when it comes to memory loss, forcing them to give interesting answers. Dems do it too, but…so many Republicans have learned to not say a bad word about Trump they have lost all recollection of the January 6, 2021 riots…especially the ones who were actually there. When asked about The Pardons, the usual response has been: “I don’t know anything about that. But Biden was wrong.”

A recent politician brought up a Republican named Trey Gowdy. If you don’t remember him, he was mainly responsible for the $8 million spent on 52 congressional hearings into The Benghazi/Hilary Clinton fiasco. Mr. Gowdy was the usual lead attack dog during the hearings and now works for Fox, criticizing Democrats for wasting time and money on things like impeachment. He said this sometime in the past, probably during a Democratic President’s term: “Process matters. We are not a country where the ends justifies the means.” The Modern Republican Party thinks otherwise. J6 is the perfect, interesting example. Hope this subject appears on Fox News, soon.

Aw, I spent so much time researching Mr. Gowdy I’ve lost my interest in writing. The real lesson learned from Mr. Gowdy and others like him is “The Squeaky Wheel Gets Greased”. MSNBC and Fox, and others are now populated with “talky” politicians who never really did much but talk.

So be it, football is on. Hope I get good announcers….