food

One Miscellaneous Note and a Rant about The Rich

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Last post, the font WordPress uses in published posts was unknown. It appears my beautifully clear Calibri ruminations were published by WordPress in Times New Roman with serif feet and flourishes, everywhere. It can’t be said for sure, because there are several other fonts available that use feet and flourishes, but if it looks like a flourish and smells like feet…

A new report was online this week about Dynamic Price Modeling (DPM). I’ve talked about it before under its old name: Price Modeling. Adding “Dynamic” makes it sound less stodgy, more, well, dynamic. First, a reminisce about pricing from the days of old. In pre-DPM times, a business looked at the costs involved in making a product. First are “Fixed costs (FC)” that don’t change no matter the quantity of product the business produces. These are rent, insurance, things you need for one product or one million. “Variable Costs”( VC) are the things consumed during production like raw materials, energy, shipping, labor, etc. Businesses total these costs for a certain period, then divide the sum by the number of products produced and find a “total cost per item”. Businesses use the total cost per item to decide the selling price of the item, its Retail Price. It is an important step because too high a Retail Price will limit total sales, but too low a Retail Price causes lower profit, and lower profit means business failure. We used to call it “Cost Plus Pricing” and it was a complicated and ongoing struggle to reach the perfect price for sales success and maximum profit. Most often Cost Plus Pricing did not yield a Retail Price of $100 for an item with a total cost of $1. Supply and demand market forces kept Retail Prices in line with total cost and businesses survived with modest profit.

Imagine a New Pizza Shop (NPS) making the best pizza in your area.  They sell pies for $15, make a nice profit and are happy. Then, a new pizza place realizes they can make a similar pizza and sell it for $12. Or a different new, newer pizza shop opens and sells their similar pizza for $16. Eventually local pizza eaters (The Market) will figure out the best pizza for the best price and that company will survive. Using Cost Plus Pricing, most pizza shops often “find” the perfect price through trial and error.

Now imagine NPS is using DPM. It offers pizza for $15 and immediately learns * The Market is buying $12 pizzas. NPS now has to make a decision about lowering its price. But what if through DPM, NPS learns almost the entire “Market” is buying pizza from NPS. DPM suggests NPS keep raising prices until they learn The Market will no longer buy NPS pizzas. All this happens instantly in this day and age.

Lowering prices, in my opinion, will almost never happen because of The Rich People. In our pizza shop world we assume The Market will work efficiently and reward the best pizza shop the most business. The Market will end up with the best pizza at the best price.

But with DPM, NPS eventually “corners” The Market with their best pizza at a decent price. Under DPM, NPS will eventually realize more control over the pricing than The Market has, and prices will rise and soon be out of proportion to a “total cost plus” formula: profits will soar.

Now add The Rich People to The Market, with unlimited disposable income and no correlated sense of affordability: DPM driven prices and profits will soar for NPS and non-rich people will no longer afford a pizza without taking out a loan. DPM can lead to the old school, black-hole monopoly, where only the very rich can afford anything as retail prices break free of “total cost” and rise to whatever The Market—and The Rich–will pay. It’s happening already in real estate and retail commerce. There are many markets where the same item from the same factory with the same total cost is sold for a different price. Eh, still okay, right? But what happens when a company realizes selling their product at a 15% profit in Market A is not worth selling it there because they can make 50% in Market B?

I’ve run out of space, but the point of the post is Dynamic Pricing Models are already eliminating non-rich people from some markets**. Where and when will it happen next?

*The local pizza market is not a good example, mainly because there isn’t enough profit in local pizza sales to justify the cost of Ai and the energy needed to maximize DPM. But car sales, real estate, Walmart, all are using DPM in the pursuit of maximum profit.

**The DPM market effects are not new. The speed at which they now happen, is. In the past, gaining control of The Market took time and often was constrained by slow communication systems. See the “Robber Barons” of the past, DPM pioneers.

More About Big Beautiful Things

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It was a master stroke of BS to call a crap-bag of laws a big, beautiful thing (BBT) so it got me thinking of other BBTs, not to be confused with BLTs. The list is subjective, biased, and often fictional so if you have a complaint, stuff it in your big, beautiful arse.

And there is the first BBT: Irish/Welsh/Scottish movie dialogue. Not having been to any of those areas, I can’t confirm they talk the same in their natural settings as they do in movies, but they have a wonderfully melodic way of ambling around a thought, not expressing it directly, and yet putting more meaning into it than a shorter, succinct sentence. The Gift of The Blarney Stone? Google it. I dare you, you fecking shite. And watch The Snatch, a 2000 Brad Pitt movie with the most enjoyable, unintelligible English dialogue ever. BBT! Ooh, closed captioning, another BBT!

Shopping on a budget? You should be. Several stores in my area say they want my business but only one meets my budgetary, hours of operation, and proximity requirements. No, I won’t say who it is. I visited one of the stores on my “too high a price list” the other day, however, and was pleasantly surprised, twice. First, they had a yellow tag on muffins in the bread aisle. That usually means “BOGO”, or Buy one Get One free. BBT! Without putting on my glasses I grabbed two packages and headed for the self-checkout. Sadly, even with my glasses and 9-digit membership/phone number the machine still tried to charge for two, instead of one. It is an age-old grocery trick: leave the yellow tags on AFTER the sales end and see what happens at check-out. Some people pay the regular price rather than make a scene. As the steam rose in my brain a sweet, older lady approached to see if I was about to faint. Before I could sputter my anger, she said this: “Oh, honey. Those are buy one get TWO free. You need to ring up three and the price of two will be credited.”: What? WHAT!!!? She did it manually while I ran for a third package. When I returned, wow, another BBT!

As a senior, enough small things go wrong on a daily basis so when things go right, we are surprised into thinking they are BBTs. They’re not but here are a few examples of lesser, aspirational BBTs nonetheless. After the second hip surgery last month a walker became my constant companion for several weeks, along with an accessory I call “Reacher”. For the last two weeks I’ve dropped things on purpose just to enjoy the use of Reacher. My name is Robert and I am an addict.

Senior eyesight seems to get better and then get worse and then get better and then get worse…but it always gets better the day of my AMD shots**. It’s a BBT to see me ace those eye charts as a 73-year-old. Maybe one of the nurses will be impressed and ask me out…

My old (both old and former) girlfriend has reached “perfunctory response status” in regard to my texts and updates. Perfunctoriness (sic) leads to humorous responses. My text said some medical tests were positive but one was bad and needs more testing. Her response was “Good news!” BBT? I’ll accept the judge’s ruling.

Recent conversations have been about how many voices there are in our heads. It’s a BBT thing because I know, now, mine is not the only skull inhabited by more than just a Big Beautiful Brain. Or is it Ai speaking?  And how could I forget Thurber’s character, Walter Mitty? Or the movie “Inside Out”? Crap. I need to remember remembering is the first thing to go.

And then there is the Air Fryer. A YUGE*** BBT. As a man who loves to cook and hates to clean, my $24 Air Fryer from Walmart has raised the gastronomic level of life. Men living alone, pay attention: grilled cheese, day old chicken, two day old pizza, left-over hamburgers and hot dogs from July 4th, toast, and more, all done to perfection with minimal clean up, no butter, no saggy microwave structure, a wonderfully crisp, like new

I went away for a few moments. Don’t ask, just go get an Air Fryer.

** Do not google this procedure if you have a weak stomach. It happens to people like me every three months.

*** Thanks, Donald, for the new word. BBT!

California Dreaming…

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If you are from anywhere in the world and you’ve spent any time in Southern California you can understand the love/hate relationship we non-residents have for the state. Sunny, dry, oceans, beaches, skiing, natural beauty, movie stars, Venice Beach, all co-exist with high prices, bad traffic, wildfires, mudslides, and the looming, lurking, specter of The Big One.

In these days of political polarity, California gets another rap for not being conservative, as if The Redwoods and beaches were destined by our creator to be marxist-liberal phenomenons.

So it’s understandable the response of some MAGA and conservative idiots to the devastating wildfires. Idiots, includes you-know-who who’s name can’t be mentioned because of a New year’s Resolution. No sense in wasting time talking about the idiots. God will settle that score.

But the time I’ve spent in California was more than wonderful, it was joyous: sun every day, no humidity, gastronomical assortments unrivaled by any location, and scenic views to die for. By my calculations California’s pluses far outweigh it’s minuses, and I do not not move there simply because they do not have a winter with snow so great it confines me to my apartment for days…maybe I should reevaluate.

My guess is a lot of California hate is similar to homophobic hate: people don’t want to admit they might like it if they tried it, and they’re afraid of the temptation.

No matter what your beliefs or your political idiocy, no one deserves what is happening to Southern California, these days. Most residents are life long residents, all with transplants somewhere in the generations past who found California a great place to live and raise a family. Over–sometimes–centuries they built a web of family and locations, all under the constant welcoming sun.

My family’s generations are in the Northeast, but I wonder how it would feel if all homes, all records, all memorabilia, all traces of the past were incinerated to ash in 5 minutes.

For some reason, Nature or God or some unnamed creator decided to visit our earth with disasters of wind, rain, snow, fire, or shaking ground. It happens all over and it will continue to happen.

And every time it does, we should thank our lucky stars it didn’t happen to us. If we can’t roll up our sleeves and offer help, we should shut our pie holes and hope for the best for those suffering.

And stop the looting!

To all who feel the urge to pile on to a disaster, whether it be in Florida or California or Iowa or Texas or New York or Hawaii, beware. Karma is a bitch.

National What?

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Here it is the end of the middle of October, 2024, and the news finally reached me: it is National Pizza Month (NPM)! How’s that for for good news?

Sadly, October has been NPM since October 1984. First, smarter, better-read friends should have told me, and they’ll never be forgiven, unless they buy me a pizza. Second, the countless pizza places who have enjoyed my cheese and sauce on dough business have never mentioned it, either. NPM has been kept a better secret than the aliens in Roswell. Wonder if it was in the classified documents all our ex-presidents took home. It would have been Reagan, probably some of his damn trickle-down crap. But Bush, Clinton, and the rest, had to be involved in the cover-up.

Sadly, there is no personal benefit to NPM. I’ve asked. In fact, pepperoni slice prices are significantly higher, now, than 1984. Damn you Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Obama, Trump, and Biden for ignoring Pizza-nomics. In fact, the one pizza expert behind the counter I consulted, the one with the nose ring and tattoos, says he/she/them didn’t even know about the NPM honor. We’ll cut he/she/them some slack since they weren’t around for what must have been a national month of festivities in 1984. Hm. Wonder where I was?

But wait: there is a rumor about something significant on February 9th. Oh, yeah, that is National Pizza Pie Day (NPPD). That day somehow became the NPPD in 2000. No one knows why. For fun, Google says “the day recognizes the cultural significance of the beloved dish leading to moments of indulgence and enjoyment”. If you’re wondering, I had nothing to do with it, but I have entered it into my phone calendar. Next year…

Is there more? A deep dive (pizza) in the world of National Days yields another pizza-specific gem: National Cheese Pizza Day (NCPD) on September 5. More? Yes, please! National Pepperoni Pizza Day (NPPD) on September 20.

That’s it, right? Nope. Lets not forget National Sausage Pizza day (NSPD) on October 11. And (possibly) for you nerds, out there, National Pi Day (NPiD) on March 14th. Haven’t learned if that is pizza or math pi(e), but it sounds like it belongs in this discussion.

Research is ongoing about possible deals or benefits from NPM, NPD, NpiD, NSPD, NPPD, and NCPD so I’ll keep you updated.

And I will be founding National Buffalo Chicken Pizza Day (NBCPD) right after my petition for National Breakfast Pizza Day (NBPD) is submitted to whatever organization (National Organization of Pizza Enjoyers? NOPE?) designates the days of celebration.

For those of us who enjoy pizza, that’s every day.

Problems, if anyone cares

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My new favorite spot is The Turning Stone Resort and Casino, ten miles down the road. It has a beautiful fitness center with a pool on the third floor of the resort’s Tower Hotel. Since moving back to New York, I swim three times a week and then stumble down to the casino floor to sacrifice $5 each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. For “fun”.

The Problem is I’m not losing. It’s hard to lose big on penny slot machines at 50 cents a play, but for years in the past, when an infrequent out-of-state visitor, as soon as the $5 was gone, my casino day was done. But now, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, the inscrutable Asian/Japanese slot machine closest to my walk to my car, who’s directions I can’t read, with the big, comfortable seat, has decided to do something different. It has paid about $15 a day, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, after two or three 50 cent bets. And I cash out. Am I being set-up? On candid Camera? Being Punk’d? Should I stay longer? Play more? Bet more?

There’s an elevator in my beautiful apartment building where I live in my beautiful apartment on the second floor. My Problem is every time I take the elevator, either up or down, some one always tries to get on before they see I am trying to get off. Like the elevator is their personal conveyance. I’ve ridden elevators all over the world and never saw this type of behavior anywhere else. At least I don’t remember. And why hasn’t this happened with the beautiful, too-young-for-me blond from the third floor?

I park my car away from other cars-if possible-when visiting hospitals, etc. Three times in the short 3 months I’ve been back in NY, someone else has parked so close to my driver side door my entry was impossible. Again, I’ve parked all over the world and never seen it as bad as here, in upstate NY. (I have pictures.) So, my Problem is not really how to get into my car, but how much damage to inflict on the stupid vehicle next to me. Last time, last week, I emptied a water bottle in the front seat through a cracked open window. Banging into the new plastic doors of some of these new cars doesn’t do anything, these days. Hm. Bet the seat dried before the stupid driver got back.

One last Problem, promise: Buffalo Chicken Pizza. $4 for a one large slice, or $28 for an 18 inch pizza with 6 large slices? The Real Problem? There is nothing like hot, fresh pizza of any flavor. But an 18 inch would take a few days to eat, leaving the last few slices to be cold, reheated, refrigerated pizza. But it’s there, ready, anytime. Not ordering, driving…um…this might take some time.