One Miscellaneous Note and a Rant about The Rich

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Last post, the font WordPress uses in published posts was unknown. It appears my beautifully clear Calibri ruminations were published by WordPress in Times New Roman with serif feet and flourishes, everywhere. It can’t be said for sure, because there are several other fonts available that use feet and flourishes, but if it looks like a flourish and smells like feet…

A new report was online this week about Dynamic Price Modeling (DPM). I’ve talked about it before under its old name: Price Modeling. Adding “Dynamic” makes it sound less stodgy, more, well, dynamic. First, a reminisce about pricing from the days of old. In pre-DPM times, a business looked at the costs involved in making a product. First are “Fixed costs (FC)” that don’t change no matter the quantity of product the business produces. These are rent, insurance, things you need for one product or one million. “Variable Costs”( VC) are the things consumed during production like raw materials, energy, shipping, labor, etc. Businesses total these costs for a certain period, then divide the sum by the number of products produced and find a “total cost per item”. Businesses use the total cost per item to decide the selling price of the item, its Retail Price. It is an important step because too high a Retail Price will limit total sales, but too low a Retail Price causes lower profit, and lower profit means business failure. We used to call it “Cost Plus Pricing” and it was a complicated and ongoing struggle to reach the perfect price for sales success and maximum profit. Most often Cost Plus Pricing did not yield a Retail Price of $100 for an item with a total cost of $1. Supply and demand market forces kept Retail Prices in line with total cost and businesses survived with modest profit.

Imagine a New Pizza Shop (NPS) making the best pizza in your area.  They sell pies for $15, make a nice profit and are happy. Then, a new pizza place realizes they can make a similar pizza and sell it for $12. Or a different new, newer pizza shop opens and sells their similar pizza for $16. Eventually local pizza eaters (The Market) will figure out the best pizza for the best price and that company will survive. Using Cost Plus Pricing, most pizza shops often “find” the perfect price through trial and error.

Now imagine NPS is using DPM. It offers pizza for $15 and immediately learns * The Market is buying $12 pizzas. NPS now has to make a decision about lowering its price. But what if through DPM, NPS learns almost the entire “Market” is buying pizza from NPS. DPM suggests NPS keep raising prices until they learn The Market will no longer buy NPS pizzas. All this happens instantly in this day and age.

Lowering prices, in my opinion, will almost never happen because of The Rich People. In our pizza shop world we assume The Market will work efficiently and reward the best pizza shop the most business. The Market will end up with the best pizza at the best price.

But with DPM, NPS eventually “corners” The Market with their best pizza at a decent price. Under DPM, NPS will eventually realize more control over the pricing than The Market has, and prices will rise and soon be out of proportion to a “total cost plus” formula: profits will soar.

Now add The Rich People to The Market, with unlimited disposable income and no correlated sense of affordability: DPM driven prices and profits will soar for NPS and non-rich people will no longer afford a pizza without taking out a loan. DPM can lead to the old school, black-hole monopoly, where only the very rich can afford anything as retail prices break free of “total cost” and rise to whatever The Market—and The Rich–will pay. It’s happening already in real estate and retail commerce. There are many markets where the same item from the same factory with the same total cost is sold for a different price. Eh, still okay, right? But what happens when a company realizes selling their product at a 15% profit in Market A is not worth selling it there because they can make 50% in Market B?

I’ve run out of space, but the point of the post is Dynamic Pricing Models are already eliminating non-rich people from some markets**. Where and when will it happen next?

*The local pizza market is not a good example, mainly because there isn’t enough profit in local pizza sales to justify the cost of Ai and the energy needed to maximize DPM. But car sales, real estate, Walmart, all are using DPM in the pursuit of maximum profit.

**The DPM market effects are not new. The speed at which they now happen, is. In the past, gaining control of The Market took time and often was constrained by slow communication systems. See the “Robber Barons” of the past, DPM pioneers.

The Holy Font Wars

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Font, font, font. Said three times really fast it sounds geeky, like a bad cheese. Aged Extra Sharp Font. To font or not to font. I do not know what font WordPress uses when this is published, but I have historically written in Times New Roman (TNR), a carryover from journalism days. In fact, I never really thought of font unless someone required a certain font. If they did, I selected it from the 1,837,312* font types available in Word and other processing apps.

But I always returned to the old “eye-shade and ink-stained sleeves” newspaper roots and wrote in TNR. TNR was invented 93 years ago by a typographer for the British “The Times” newspaper. He complained about the readability of the paper, which was using Times Roman font, now known as Times Old Roman. TNR was a huge success and became the global standard for books and legal documents. It was Microsoft Word’s default font until 2007, when Calibri replaced it. Being stubborn and superstitious, TNR was moved into my personal word processing default position, and no other font was used on purpose. (There was a time when testing word processors in the 70s and 80s when the installed font was never even known, or font selection was limited, which didn’t matter as long as it was readable.)

Fonts were never a big deal, though sometimes size mattered. I remember playing around with myriad and varied fonts sizes, years ago, when a certain page count was required and discovered certain fonts take up more space than others, making filling a page easier. But generally, fonts are so inconsequential I called TNR “New Times Roman” for most of this post until editing, when I noticed the New and Old Times Roman boo-boos.** It didn’t take long to fix, but it made me wonder if this inconsequential post should be continued.

Wait, it’s point is coming back to me.

The Biden administration, in its push to help the disabled and generally disadvantaged among us, mandated Calibri for all administration paperwork in 2023. The administration cited three reasons for the change:

  1. Calibri readability is better because it is “sans-serif”. It has no “feet” or decorative flourishes. Ai it.
  2. TNR was designed for paper newsprint, while Calibri was designed for digital computer screens.
  3. The cleaner lines of “sans serif” Calibri worked better with modern Optical Character Recognition software.

Those are some very good reasons for a simple, unobtrusive change, right?

Before writing this post, I typed two sentences, one on top of the other, one in TNR, and one in Calibri. The difference is astounding,*** especially to 73-year-old eyes using 1.75 magnification “reading glasses” just to see the desk. I am now a fan of fonts, and this post is Great British TNR free, and 100% pure Microsoft Calibri.

Can anyone understand why the Trump people recently decided to go back to TNR? They had these reasons:

  1. Restoring “Decorum and Professionalism.” TNR conveys a more “formal and professional” tone. Oh, and tradition. “Make American Type Flourishy Again.” Irony? Tone-deafness?
  2. Opposition to DEI. Trump people declared the move to Calibri a “wasteful program linked to DEI.” God forbid.
  3. Unified Identity. The change (back to TNR) aligns with President Trumps’ “One Voice For America’s Foreign Relations” Directive. Thank God?

You probably know how I feel about each font but Lucas de Groot, the Dutch inventor of Calibri, opines the return to TNR is “sad and hilarious” at the same time. Well said, and who cares about poor people with bad eyes. And switching back to TNR won’t cost a cent.

All players in this mega-important official United States policy issue should be thanked for opening my eyes to better writing and reading. (Get it?)

And the things you guys make me learn. Amen.

*Do I have to tell you that is an exaggeration? Hyperbole? Untruth? Whatever else you do, do NOT do a deep dive into fonts with Ai. Do do.

**That was a good time for Ai to be of service. Slacker.

***Try it yourself.

Another Amusing Thing About Old Age?

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As if physical decline (PD) wasn’t enough by itself, there is mental decline (MD) to worry about as a bonus for living longer. A strange oddity about MD is how does one observe said decline if one is the victim of said decline? Aching knees and joints are positive (WTF! Positive??) indicators of PD both my inner voice (IV) and outer voice (OV) easily recognize and process. Neither IV or OV is happy about it, but knowledge is power, and uncertainty is emotionally crippling. So when it comes to MD who will be the canary in the coalmine, IV or OV? Those two are already debating the issue in internal memos and hints of MD are leaking out through OV. IV has noticed lately, memories recounted by OV are being…embellished. Not outright fabricated stories but as IV searches the files it is finding inconsistencies in the tales OV is passing off as historical fact.

There are several memories (about five) from my past which are important milestones, or “forks in the road” for life as it unfolded. The memories used to be accurate recollections of times when life could have gone either way or at least changed direction. OV has retold those stories for years without inner turmoil or even discussion. The recollections were part of the story line of my life, with each recollection supporting each decision made and subsequent, related actions taken. Each story had its flaws, and its revealing moments where I might not have looked my best, despite persevering, and moving on with life.

But many times, in the last 34 months, as the stories have been recounted for medical professionals, new friends, or old friend wanting to know more, IV has raised its hand and suggested “That ain’t the way it happened.” For example, I’ve always told the story of a young, long-haired, hippy, radical Colgate freshman being escorted out a rural bar at the end of a shotgun. The listener is left free to assume a political or societal issue related to a liberal hippy in rural America. But here is what IV says: it was a drug deal gone bad, and I’d stepped on the toes of a local dealer running his operation out of the establishment in question. IV correctly points out I was a common criminal not a rebellious, anti-war icon. My power as an umpire over OV and IV is questionable, but there is no reason to believe IV wrong, as IV’s version of events paints a negative picture of the hero OV must want me to be.

But the real important issue is two pronged: 1. When did the story change? All of my internal voices knew the exact truth in November 1970, so when—and how—did the story change? And 2. How many of those “very important” memories have been infected with the “Need To Make It Better Virus? (NTBV). And is there a cure for NTBV and its possible variants?

My first hope is OV, IV and me are normal issues and the upgrading (upselling?) of memories is a normal function suffered by all who age gracefully. In other words, my extremely agile mind-group has found a way to get me to believe I’m not only normal, but also special for noticing it.

And I am heroic, as well, for talking about it in this open space.

Okay. To summarize…I may have some personality issues needing therapy and it is not heroic to note that, it is good, common sense.

But what if all of this is woke mumbo jumbo. What if IV is wrong? What if OV HAS been right all these years? What if…

All I know, now, is I wish God made easier signposts for MD. We need them.

Best Jokes of 2025? You Decide But Don’t Bother Voting

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It’s the depressing end of fall and the depressing beginning of winter in depressing Upstate NY. Mother Nature has depressingly blessed us with below zero temperatures and a year’s worth of depressing snow, already, 11 days before the first depressing day of winter. It builds character and kills bugs, so we can forget what it does to our joints and bodily systems, right? Screw character, and I’d give anything for weather nice enough for the foot-long palmetto bugs who have their own condos in Florida.

In looking for a positive, I suggest (hope) we’re getting all of winter in the two weeks before the start of winter and it will be sunshine and roses for the next three months. No Snow. No Cold. No character. No depression. Self-delusion is the best delusion of all.

In the meantime, it is the time of year for “The Best Of—” lists. Since movies, songs, TV shows, and other current entertainments happen after I go to sleep, not one, single name on any of those lists is recognizable. It was depressing until this list appeared in my internet feed: “The Best Jokes of 2025”. It was surprising to read them and learn they were the best “clean jokes” of 2025. I searched for the best “dirty” jokes of 2025. After that the best “dad” jokes of 2025. And best “one-liners” of 2025. I found so many “best fill in the blank jokes” lists I’ve decided to share a list of the best jokes from the lists of the best jokes in 2025, no matter their subject or tone*. For copyright reasons I should give credit to the source, but with eleven** jokes from many different lists and different people, maybe no one will be rich enough to sue me. And remember, not one of these is original.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything. (Science AND humor.)

What did the buffalo say when his male child went to college? (Bison. Say it out loud.)

When does a joke become a “Dad Joke? When it becomes apparent. (Again: out loud. Plus, a double meaning! Bonus humor.)

I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days. (Can’t you just hear the “rim-shot”?

I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.

My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.

What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead. (Apologies.)

Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really, really good at it.

A husband asked his wife “Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?” Wife: “You asked me not to call you at work.”

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? Become a ventriloquist.

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who?” Candice joke get any worse?***

 Is it just me or do some of these jokes sound like they’ve been around awhile? 2025, my ass. I’m going to do some research on Bob Hope. Or Red Skelton.

*Whoa, there are some really, dirty jokes out there. But not here. Yet.

**Why eleven? Look for a past post, and if you don’t find one…?.

***Jokes, puns, and wordplay drove my Ai grammar police crazy. Good. Maybe they will get depressed, like the rest of us poor souls.

It’s My Fault, It Has To Be

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I’ve spent a good part of this afternoon “chatting”, talking, and inventing new words to help in talking with customer service reps both human and Ai. Ai is starting to be as disappointing as humans. Twice Ai warned me. Once a disclaimer at the bottom of a search result: “Gemini can make mistakes, so double-check it.” The second time, on a phone call it said “You are speaking to an Ai generated agent and my information may not be precise or accurate.” Guess how I responded. There are two unopened bars of 100% pure Ivory Hand soap in my bathroom and if my mom were here…

To be straight, I’ve never used the internet singular for research of importance. Much as I use Amazon as a “shopping idea and reference”, so, too do I use an internet “fact”. It’s a starting point. So imagine when the new, super-charged search engine called Ai warns me they might be wrong, what is the point and who is kidding who about the efficiency of Ai in our future? Oddly, who would I double-check Ai with, anyway? God?

Is the internet good for anything, anymore? Yes. It saves legwork and time. My research finds a starting point and then looks for back-up, confirming, and supportive facts from other sources. Most often, those facts come from BOOKS or writings originating someplace else that wind up in the realm of public knowledge. News “aggregators”, sites that collect news stories the reader might like, are a case in point. The origin of the site’s stories is the most important thing to check in this click bait world. As a journalist by training, I know stories and articles from “legacy” media will not just be some podcaster’s opinion, but a researched, reviewed, edited, and approved work. An organization with some sort of review and edit structure has a better chance of giving us the truth than one, single mouth. I look for the source and hope it is The New York Times, Newsweek, USA Today, even CBS, NBC, and CNN…and Fox.  These organizations’ stories may contain some bias, but it is obvious when it happens. Watch Fox for half an hour and see. If a news article is from The Czech Daily, or John’s Basement Tapes, or an individual mouthpiece like Limbaugh, Bongino*, or Grandmas Knickers, it is more than likely click bait. It’s easier to see this with Medicine where excellent websites are available from The Mayo Clinic, Harvard Medical, Johns Hopkins, and your own local newspaper. As a bonus these types of sites also include patient blogs which can be invaluable for your own unique situation.

The internet is still a wonderful place for pure entertainment. You can not only see a man get hit in his gonads but can also see The Benny Goodman Quartet at New York’s Carnegie Hall in 1938.** But you are all aware of those neat things, already so it’s YOUR fault if you don’t find them and safely enjoy them.

It can be a neat, easy, and productive foray into the the nether world, out there, as long as you know who your guide is, and what they want from you. It isn’t always peace and love.

*Props for Mr. Bongino, the FBI Deputy Director. When asked about his false conspiracy claims from the past he said, truthfully and honestly: “I was paid in the past, Sean, for my opinions. …but that’s not what I’m paid for now.”

**A special performance, The first “mainstream” jazz concert.

The End of Civilization…Maybe? A Minor Rant

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It’s hard to know who to blame, but modern Western Civilization is coming to an end. If there are textbooks in the future, the demise of Democracy and the 21st century world will be written by whoever survives. Historical museums and archives of apolitical thought will all have gone the way of the Edsal, and history will be whatever the New Order says it is. Research will result in facts dominated by the Group-thought of the Cults who survive and pour out of their bunkers after the mild-mannered Armageddon.

A paragraph like the one above usually starts a science fiction novel which begins with a sudden, apocalyptic fireball, world-wide pandemic, or alien invasion. But our current president and his minions are reshaping American Life without germs, radiation, or pointy-headed anal probers. And some of America supports them.

The dismantling of a federal Government that has historically held people together, kept them safe from external forces, won world-wide wars, and met nature’s tests, means…nothing. Nothing will be left for workplace safety, protection from predatory billionaires, bird flu, brain-eating amoebas, and the rest of the small things trying to kill us. Pollution will become the dominant problem before climate change, and both will conflate to end mankind. The Trump Administration will crow to the rooftops about how great they made America right to the bitter end.

Eh. Maybe not. This might be what you would call Trump Derangement Syndrome so it’s best to avoid any Trumpian news stories, but The Kennedy Center For the Performing Arts issue is astounding, prescient, and indicative of The New Trump World mentality. Trump made his usual off the cuff rants about The Kennedy Center not being Trumpian and then fired all 17 members of the Board of Directors and made himself temporary chairman. He then made the Kennedy Center into what he wants it to be.  You can read detailed reports of how it all happened for at least a little while longer since Trump monitors have not been able to erase all bad news, yet. But the funny-not-funny part is Trump put a butt-kissing crony in charge. The new MAGA governing body now has control of The Kennedy Center and will make it “great” again, “for everyone”…in their own, political image.

Oddly, some people disagree with the New Director and the New Board, and plan protests.

Ha. Funny, right? Wait, you haven’t heard the funny part, yet. The new, very sensitive and self-aware director of the center had this to say: “Any performer who isn’t professional enough to perform for patrons of all backgrounds, regardless of political affiliations, won’t be welcomed. In fact, we think it would be important to “out” those vapid and intolerant artists to ensure producers know who they hire—and that the public knows which shows have political litmus tests to sit in the audience.” Is that irony or hypocrisy?

The Kenedy Center was named after John F Kennedy, a war hero, and former Democratic President. It was established in 1971 and “serves as a living memorial to John F. Kennedy, and hosts world-class performances, offers extensive educational opportunities, and is a unique public/private partnership.” -wikipedia.* And it has been for over 50 years without complaint or adverse action or lawsuit, or—screw it. It doesn’t matter. It catered to a world-class audience and Trump felt excluded. Something had to be done.

The astounding tone-deaf-ness of the new director’s statements is the problem, read it again. No one is right, correct, and morally sound but him. Now, with the old 17-member board and old director, and old programming gone, the New Board will get it Right. Literally.

For more, fun, Trump is even after Wikipedia and wants to put that impartial, publicly edited and monitored information source away.

We’ll have Trumpedia and The Trump Performance Center in our future.

Who’s vapid and intolerant?

And what a start for that End of World novella…

*The wiki entry has been edited since the date of this post.

Odd Things of Importance. Maybe.

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Trump Burger, a Texas chain of hamburgers, closed in October 2025. The owner was arrested by ICE and is scheduled for deportation. Ironic news, but the more salient fact is Trump was suing the owner to stop using Trump’s name. Bet there is a real, juicy story waiting to get well-done before it’s made public. Yes, apologies for poor buns. Puns, puns.

On December 3, 2025, a lab downloaded my pathology report for last week’s follow-up colonoscopy. The previous May colonoscopy had found irregularities. In reporting on the samples sent by the doctors this time, the report said: “NO NEGATIVE DYSPLASIA”. This is a new phrase never heard during my days of prostate cancer or any other tests and treatments and appointments…so I googled it. For the first time in over 34 months, cancer is no longer part of my health conversations. I’m free of it. But it’s hard to celebrate. Both voices in my head (see past posts) say the same thing: “Yeah? Till when?” This is the perfect time to remember the nature of life and death, and hope one lasts long enough for the other to be a kinder, gentler event. And sudden, too, maybe.

A recent letter to our paper’s editorial section says Trump and Hegseth cannot be guilty of war crimes, because there is no “official war”.  For the anxious among you, I did suggest the writer send a note to Hegseth asking Hegseth to stop calling the bombing event something that happens in “the fog of war.” The local letter writer also suggests it’s okay to “kill criminals.” There was no distinction between being accused and being convicted. And the letter writer also added a “whataboutism” concerning the civilians accidentally killed during the Biden era. For those who think about these things, it was never mentioned what Biden Era military people said or did when they saw survivors. Our current leaders said “Kill them all” and sent a second bomb.

Two of these paragraphs are not about Trump, so my promise is kept. They are about the people Trump put in place to run his government and his affairs. He says he knows nothing of the things his appointees and lawyers do. He deserves the benefit of his(sic) doubt.

Today, in upstate New York, on December 4, 2025, one week after Thanksgiving and three weeks before Christmas, we are getting bombed by snow. Overnight temperatures will get to minus two degrees.* I do not like it. If any reader “knows someone” who can do something, let me know? Quid pro quo, by the way. You wash my hands, I wash your hands, capische?**

If anyone was wondering, public discourse has not improved. The Oxford Dictionary people have recently revealed a hint as to why. Oxford’s 2025 “Word of the Year” is “rage bait.” *** Google it for a detailed definition. It describes a conscious attempt to NOT engage in serious discussion, but to get a type of action or response often totally unrelated to the subject. How freaking depressing. After learning of the “word” it’s become hard to read or hear any public comments without wondering about the originator’s purpose. There is not enough time in my life to correct a mistaken person when all they really want is to get me to respond,  and they have no interest in the grammatical and logical jewel of a comment with which I bless them. Hopefully, not too much commentary will be wasted on sow’s ears, but I’ll never really know. And there are others in need of it. Oh, the humanity. Thanks, Oxford.

*Otherwise stated as -2brrr

** Stupid “The Untouchables” Movie. De Niro gets in your head.

***They give no public reason why it is two words, this year. Inflation?

Political Growth, a Personal Story

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In the 1960’s I was a very young news consumer in a very small market when news sources were very limited. John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK), ABC, NBC, and CBS convinced me to become a Democrat. There were three TV broadcast stations, AM radio, and newspapers, both daily and Sunday, delivering news of the town, county, state, country, and the world. And sports. All of us in my world heard the same news from the same places but often reached different conclusions. It was a perfect information world.

Books became a new source. The first mistake was Ian Fleming and “Bond, James Bond” books where an entirely new amazing world was revealed. Classics were read, too, like “Robinson Crusoe”, “Swiss Family Robinson”, and “Tom Sawyer” when the young brain wasn’t ready for Twain’s message. The world of print was an escape from farm life and a fantastic enhancement to the rote memory of 1960’s public schools. All of which did nothing to change my adolescent political belief.

Attending Earth Day Celebrations–including the very first national one in 1970–  and “No Nukes” rallies further cemented my Democratic Leanings. But subtle damage was done to the rabidness of those “leanings” by exposure to two books: “Unsafe at Any Speed: The Designed-in Dangers of the American Automobile”, by Ralph Nader, 1965, and more importantly “The Hidden Persuaders”, by Vance Packard, 1957.  They planted seeds of doubt, both of them, seeds fitting the rebellious nature of a young man looking at a world he did not understand.

But…with limited news sources, and a clearly defined two-party-only political landscape, it took several years for the seeds to grow. In fact, it took many years for the tree of Independence to grow higher than the bush of partisanship. It was at a Liberal Arts College, on the third floor of the girls dorm, when the evils of political purity began to be exposed. College students often argue just to argue. We called it “Debating”, and considered it an essential, unstructured part of a normally de rigueur education. It was during these ad hoc sessions the words of Twain, Nader, Packard, and others finally came into focus. This budding New Belief System (NBS) wasn’t earth shattering like The Moral Imperative of Kant, but it was more secular, more relevant, more down-to-earth, and a complement to philosophical mind bending. It became apparent a Capitalistic, Democratic Society needed both Naders and Kants to make sense. Great. Now what?

Life took its course with marriage, family, births, and deaths without the NBS fading but also without NBS making a big difference, except in my personal life. The faults of both political parties had been revealed by the NBS but so? Didn’t an intelligent person have to be a D or an R? It was simple inertia keeping me a responding member of the Democratic Party, and when Republican thoughts entered my mind, a feeling of disloyalty often followed. Ugh.

This long story needs quick completion, and a point, so here is my opinion, and mine only: No one should be a fanatical, devoted supporter of any political party. This morning’s on-line newspaper’s “letters to the editor” contained one praising a certain individual for voting consistently with the individual’s party. When I researched their voting record, it had evolved over time from nearly bipartisan to highly partisan, voting over 90 per cent of the time for the party line. My amygdala, part of the limbic system, lit up immediately and produced an audible: “That’s ass-backwards.”

I am now a devoted* Independent with Liberal Leanings**. It’s a result of the process engendered by the NBS: growing, learning, thinking, and applying. NBS was also nurtured by more information and more knowledge about politics. It is a rough and tumble business driven by money, fame, ego, and power. The Moral Imperative? Bah humbug. Public service? We measure it in dollars, now.

The reason for a two-party simple is clear: Money works with and against other money. Period. Imagine how hard it would be if there were three political hands*** dipping into the political pot.

With the advent of the internet and instant communication, there is no reason for anyone not to see the corrupted, misdealing, self-serving, nature of our two political parties, the system, and their candidates. So why support them? We have to support someone, yes?

No.

NO!

*Is it ironic, given my point?

**just means more liberal than conservative leanings, but I am ambidextrous (sic).

***Or more. It’s harder to “politically profiteer” in parliamentary governments.

The Miracle of Medicine, the Mind, and Youth

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There was a time when mornings were full of life, full of energy, when running was first before breakfast, and life got better with each mile. It was a blissfully ignorant time of invulnerability and unlimited happiness, with no doctors’ threats or tests informing dietary and sleeping habits. Only God knows what could have been different to prevent The Calamities of 2023…if anything at all. Hopefully, if the medical science establishment has any sense, they will be searching for way to send patients back to the good, old, days.

Yeah. Right. In the meantime, age takes us by the hand and steers us into physical conditions with strange names and mortal consequences. Science is really good at learning about and naming these conditions but our success at eliminating them has been mixed. How long have we been donating to cancer—as well as other disease—fund raisers? There was a cancer program in the 1960’s involving chocolate bars. I supported it with an allowance big enough to buy one bar a week.

The end result of medical research at this point in my lifetime is we’ve made progress at longevity. Per Ai, my birth year of 1952 has an average life expectancy of 68.6 for males in the United States. A male born in 2025 can hope for nearly 80 years. Ai is quick to point out sex, country of origin, and income can make huge differences, both plus and minus. Ask Ai yourself for more details but—spoiler alert—America does not have the longest life expectancy. We don’t even make the top 5. Monaco is number 1? Maybe wealth is the most important factor?

But as we age, we’re finding it harder and harder to be happy about aging. Why isn’t the aging “experience” making us happier? Is it really making us wiser? We all know why aging makes us unhappy, read the first paragraph of this post. But is there anything we can do about it?

A couple of things could be done. First, look for and appreciate the humor in life. It’s there but gets lost in the mail, so to speak. The earliest humor is the simple fact the day we are born we start to die. Right then and there the clock starts and there is no stopping it. Cruel or funny? Make your choice carefully, it matters. I recently filled out a health questionnaire asking me: “Do you sometimes forget things?” I can’t remember if I even answered. Another plus for aging is streaming services for computers, laptops, phones, and televisions. You can travel world from your chair or hospital bed, watching period dramas, slapstick comedy, relevant medical shows, and take enough on-line courses to become your own Doctor…as long as your faculties are intact.

And there is it: intact faculties. Most of us wouldn’t mind living to 100 or more if we can still, read, write, walk, and wipe ourselves, right? So, are the medical miracles helping us live longer helping us know we are living longer? You’ll never know until you get there, wherever “there’ is.

One thing we should all change our mind on, is death, especially if the Near Dead Expericencers (NDE) are to be believed. Nearly all NDE people, upon their return from death, report a heaven much too nice for most of us. Many also report not wanting to come back to life, and wondering why they did.  Can we expect the same at our own permanent death? If so, why worry? And why stigmatize suicide and outlaw assisted suicide and euthanasia?

It’s Monday so the post took a somber turn, or did it? One thing that makes a difference in and about life is how you view it, how you perceive it, and how you process it. And what you should always consider is there is no other choice than what happens on the macro level: you will die.

Will you suffer cognitive decline in old age? Not if you die young. One NDE describes his experience by comparing his life to a laptop computer. There is a memory on the old laptop you can transfer to a new laptop, and then you can discard the old and recycle it. That may sound matrixy (sic) but if it helps… embrace it. And don’t forget to keep some empty thumb drives* around, just in case.

Next post we’ll talk about Aliens and how they affect modern life through movies, plays, television, and Oscar voting.

*Memory sticks, or whatever else they are called these days.

Not So Obvious Common-Sense Things for Seniors

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Hope seniors know these already, and if you’re a young’un, they can help you, too. You will get old, if you’re lucky.

Use a “fitness watch” to help with diet and exercise and don’t stop it when you’re done exercising. Or stop it and then start it again as you shower and dress. You’ll be surprised at how hard you work getting clean and dressed to go home after your fitness session.

If you don’t have a fitness watch, get one. It is an interesting device that can do almost anything, including recording your sleep/nap time. Get one with the “fall-safe” option. It will call 911 if you fall and don’t answer the watch’s question in 30 seconds. At least my google watch will. Of note: Ace Frehly, the KISS guitarist, recently died from the results of a fall at home. Not sure if a watch would have helped, but it can’t hurt. Think “Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” ads from years ago.

Amazon has entire pages of shoes for all seasons made specifically for seniors to “slip-on” without exerting the type of effort a fitness watch would record *. Of course, you can still wear lace-up shoes and add extra calories to your fitness routine. No, there are no “slip-on” socks, yet so we still bend over to remove and put on most socks. If you get loose fitting ones, you can get the socks off without bending over and save a few ergs of energy. Get a “reacher”** to pick them up if bending over is anathematic. (Today’s new word. Ask Ai.)

Give your most trusted child *** a key to your home or apartment building, Then, when you fall asleep for your afternoon nap the child can drop stuff off without waking you. It gives them the chance to check up on you, too, and see how clean and aromatic your home or apartment might or might not be. It would help, too, if you both had some sort of communication schedule, especially if the senior lives alone. My daughter and I try to talk every day or at least three times a week, and we never miss more than two days in a row. In a worst-case scenario, if I went to heaven in my apartment, it would only be two days before they found my rotting carcass. My building maintenance man says he wouldn’t know about “any” corpse until it started to smell. Don’t laugh, reader, it is a fact, not hyperbole for humor. Ai says “putrefaction” would take 4 to 10 days depending….

Depending on where you live, buy more reading glasses, cheap gloves, and cheap hats than you need. Due to our natural cognitive decline, it’s better to have these things in abundance than to need them and not have them, especially on cold, winter days. Or when shopping and trying to read labels. Look in Dollar Stores for economic quantity, and if you still trust yourself, buy decent ones from Macy’s. Oh, and Amazon, again: I bought 12 pairs of brown Jersey gloves for $9. Some are in the house, some are in the car, some in my man-bag/gym bag, and some are resting in the dresser drawer for when the others run away from home. Note: if you’re buying me a Christmas Present, do not buy fancy gloves or hats. If you do, and they are really pricey, they’ll stay in the drawer rather than mysteriously disappear. Hopefully, they can be re-gifted to “someone with all their faculties intact.” (See
“For Esme-with Love and Squalor” by J.D. Salinger. 1950)

In a later post we’ll talk about “layering” to keep warm, get cool, and then warm up, again, all with one coordinated outfit.

And if you live in a warm climate…you needn’t care about most of this post, you lucky bastage.****

 *Except for summer. Or a move to the south. No socks! Socks suck

**You know what it is: a squeezy thingy at the end of an extension thing-a-ma-jiggy.

***If you have one.

****Michael Keaton in “Johnny Dangerously”, 1984.