consciousness

Things Not Understood

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Let’s get an easy one out of the way: Why does anyone support Donald Trump as president of this country? When talking with supporters, I usually begin with his 34 felony convictions in a porn star hush money case. Those are CONVICTIONS* by a citizen jury where Trump’s defense lawyers lost their case. They also lost a civil case for sexual abuse and defamation again, in a jury trial. He also admitted in 2016 to sexually assaulting women, saying “I don’t even wait. They let you do it.” Trump-owned companies have also filed for bankruptcy 6 times. Trump has married three women, divorced two and had a child with a fourth. These are all public, undisputed facts. There is also a trove of his sayings and writings where he insults anyone who doesn’t agree with him using slurs and words most of us would never use. When this summary is over, I ask my listener why they support him, especially curious for the answer from religious friends. The response? If there is anything but the shrug of a shoulder, it is: “Yeah, but what about Biden? Clinton?”

And so it goes.

Most of the world, the real world, has an innate duality un-understandable. The best way to describe it is by using the words “Macro” and “Micro”. Macro refers to The Big Picture, The Theory, while Micro refers to the small picture, the details. It’s easy to see this duality in the study of Economics: Macro Theory affects the whole world, Micro details are how we, as individuals navigate our financial lives. But duality is everywhere. In physics, we have the Macro, Classic Laws of Physics where planets roam and humans shoot rockets into space. But then there is the Micro, Quantum Mechanics world where everything disobeys the Classic Laws and things so small we can’t see them do whatever the hell they want. Better minds than mine—and probably yours—have tried to “unite” Classic Laws and Quantum Mechanics for centuries. Einstein, himself called some of the quantum world “Spooky action at a distance” and could not make it fit his General Theory.

And so it goes.

From personal observation the duality of life exists in all of us and runs our lives. Think about your Macro resolution to exercise more and then your Micro failure to get up the next morning. Getting Macro theory into a Micro life is difficult, but why? It is more obvious with religion. How many of us go to worship on Macro Sunday, then swear, lie, cheat, and disrespect others the rest of the week? In fact, religion is probably the hardest place to make the connection between Macro aspirations and Micro responsibilities. Who really wants to live a minute-by-minute, truly religious life?

And before anyone takes offense, this isn’t about you. It is a Macro Essay about how we all compromise Macro Intentions for Micro Utility. Every Day. It is the nature of us all. Period. Much like the saying often mentioned when trying to understand life: “From the minute you are born, you start to die.”** WTF.

One good way to help ourselves get through all this is to think. Think about it.

Yeah, right. Who has time for that, these days.

And so it goes…

*Please note the difference between being Indicted and being Convicted. Almost anyone can be indicted. Convicted? Harder.

**Ai research cannot say who uttered this statement first, but they give some suspects: Seneca (a Roman Philosopher), Manillus (a Roman Poet), and Eleanor Roosevelt, who used it to emphasize living life to the fullest. Common sense makes one wonder why Eleanor, who lived centuries after both Romans, was included in the list? Damn that DEI.

Of Shifts and Quarks

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We are in a time when paradigms are shifting rapidly and in great quantities. Almost every paradigm we know is being challenged.

From Ai: “a paradigm is a distinct set of concepts, thought patterns, or standards that shapes how we perceive and interact with the world. Think of it as a mental map. It doesn’t just show you what to look at it;* it dictates how you interpret what you see.” Ai goes on to name different types of paradigms and differentiate between Scientific Paradigms and Social Paradigms. That makes sense since modern Scientific Discoveries change the current Scientific Paradigms and updates them. Think quantum Mechanics, Quarks and Muons, things not known in 1926, for example. But what changes Social Paradigms?

Our current government took office in January 2025 and quickly “blanket” pardoned people CONVICTED of crimes—by juries–for their peaceful and patriotic participation in the All-American Protest of January 6, 2021. Did this change a Social Paradigm?

The Pardoner in Chief was himself CONVICTED of crimes and due to be tried on more charges before our educated, morally aware, and personally responsible American Voters re-elected him, allowing him to escape further** judgement. Did a convicted felon’s election to the highest office in America change any paradigms? Judge for yourself.

Our current government is keen on restoring law and order to America. The administration knows the best the way to do that is arrest anyone who commits any crime and make them pay the price for their unlawful ways. But what is the price? A CONVICTED sex-trafficker is moved from her full-security prison cell to a medium security facility with perks and benefits not known by her prison mates. Does that change the Punishment Paradigm? No judgement. Apply your own.

Politicians used to say one thing privately and another publicly. They called it “diplomacy”. They knew the more they talked the more trouble they made for themselves. Our current government likes to talk about everything,..almost. Paradigm Shift. Strong period.

The modern American used to fret about not being heard. Now every American has a loud voice. An obvious Paradigm shift, but good or bad?

America has a System of Justice meant to punish the bad people and make sure the good people aren’t wrongly harmed. Our current government is using that system to charge good and bad people with crimes. The government makes a big show of indictments and charges, often with press conferences and non-diplomatic press releases, briefings, social media claims, and staged presentations. When was the last time they “staged” a CONVICTION public event? Are all the people being investigated and charged, being CONVICTED?*** Shift?

One of the biggest paradigm shifts happening, now, is the disrespect current politicians and officials are showing to the American People. Those professional politicians think we are idiots. Why do they think that? Because we are.

For America’s entire history, the American People have never really known what was going on and politicians did their dirty work—and their good work—behind the scenes: the less we knew the better. But now, politicinas don’t care. Paradigm shift? Of course, but what happens next? There are signs another paradigm shift may be in the works. Good or bad? Let’s see.

*Why Ai used a semicolon here is un-understandable (sic). Ai says the semi-colon is “stronger than a comma but not quite as final as a period.” You judge.

**Further is correct. It is a metaphysical distance. Farther is actual distance.

***Yes, the word is continually being capitalized for a reason.

How Many Of Us Are There?

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My UPER (Unnamed PERson) sent me a wonderful link to a nice, well-spoken gentlemen who discussed an intellectual and psychological concept you see all the time in these postings: the fragmentation of our psyche, what makes up our personalities and determines our actions. My postings use an Inner Voice (IV) and Outer Voice (OV) to illustrate inner mental and emotional conflicts. Regular readers* have been exposed to the inner dialogue IV and OV love to have about my life, its situations, and actions. Sorry for exposing myself**. Discerning readers also note there is an un-designated umpire ruling over the IV and OV debates, an entity making rulings, taking decisive actions, and writing these posts. Does that entity have a name?

Our brains are wonderfully intricate and obtuse. Ai obtuse for its “second” definition. The brain is bombarded with data from all sides, angles, and forms. Sight, sound, touch, political debate, and unfunny humor, so how does it decide what data, what stimuli to respond to? No one knows for sure, but I posit our magnificent gray watermelons take it ALL in, like a security camera, and park the data someplace in case it’s needed. Imagine the size of that data file after 73 years.

Who or what needs that data? And how is it recovered? Is there an app? And is it different for all 8 billion people? In the world of psychology, from here on out called The Circus, theories and guesses and opinions, oh my, abound. See the Pixar movie “Inside Out”, for a light-hearted examination of mental life. The Circus is different from excellent, rigorous, verifiable scientific research into the structures and mechanisms of the brain, where opinions are irrelevant.

Under The Circus’s tent you’ll find many “models” of personality that are used to treat corresponding symptoms/diseases of the “brain”, diagnosed by applying an individual’s actions to the individual model being used in the examination. Some results are good, positive, results, some are not. Fixing a broken mind isn’t as easy as fixing a broken bone. Or removing a misfiring heart. The word isn’t used anymore, but how many of us if we are looked at using the “correct” model might be labeled “crazy”? Everyone knows Freud’s name, but does everyone know what he postulated about the human mind? Ai him and read it. Or the many others*** in The Circus trying valiantly to bring their big-top show into the halls of actual science, oftentimes including simple self-help concepts meant to wrangle the mind into what it should be, according to the model of the time. I’ve been exposed to a lot of the models and could call IV, OV, and The Unnamed Umpire ID, Ego, and Superego to make myself happier. Or use the bible solution and replace all bad thoughts and lies with God’s Word. Or renew any addiction that makes thinking about things easier. Simple, profound advice when trying to understand your brain and its actions is to use anything that works for you, doesn’t destroy you, costs little, and doesn’t harm anyone else. IV OV and The Umpire are screaming in my ear to suggest you use their model. Actually, OV and IV are debating loudly while The Umpire is telling them to shut the hell up, we’re trying to be helpful, here. Like any other family, it will work out. Or not.

A thing to remember and helps: in 100 years none of it will matter or be remembered. OV wanted 200 years, IV wanted 50, The Umpire compromised.

Funny, happy ending? The fingers did exactly what they were told.

*I use “regular” because “irregular” readers don’t care or don’t know.

**It just sounds funny to admit it in writing.

***Transactional Analysis. CBT, DBT, and ACT to name a few acronyms. Maybe we need as many treatments as there are individuals?

The Miracle of Medicine, the Mind, and Youth

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There was a time when mornings were full of life, full of energy, when running was first before breakfast, and life got better with each mile. It was a blissfully ignorant time of invulnerability and unlimited happiness, with no doctors’ threats or tests informing dietary and sleeping habits. Only God knows what could have been different to prevent The Calamities of 2023…if anything at all. Hopefully, if the medical science establishment has any sense, they will be searching for way to send patients back to the good, old, days.

Yeah. Right. In the meantime, age takes us by the hand and steers us into physical conditions with strange names and mortal consequences. Science is really good at learning about and naming these conditions but our success at eliminating them has been mixed. How long have we been donating to cancer—as well as other disease—fund raisers? There was a cancer program in the 1960’s involving chocolate bars. I supported it with an allowance big enough to buy one bar a week.

The end result of medical research at this point in my lifetime is we’ve made progress at longevity. Per Ai, my birth year of 1952 has an average life expectancy of 68.6 for males in the United States. A male born in 2025 can hope for nearly 80 years. Ai is quick to point out sex, country of origin, and income can make huge differences, both plus and minus. Ask Ai yourself for more details but—spoiler alert—America does not have the longest life expectancy. We don’t even make the top 5. Monaco is number 1? Maybe wealth is the most important factor?

But as we age, we’re finding it harder and harder to be happy about aging. Why isn’t the aging “experience” making us happier? Is it really making us wiser? We all know why aging makes us unhappy, read the first paragraph of this post. But is there anything we can do about it?

A couple of things could be done. First, look for and appreciate the humor in life. It’s there but gets lost in the mail, so to speak. The earliest humor is the simple fact the day we are born we start to die. Right then and there the clock starts and there is no stopping it. Cruel or funny? Make your choice carefully, it matters. I recently filled out a health questionnaire asking me: “Do you sometimes forget things?” I can’t remember if I even answered. Another plus for aging is streaming services for computers, laptops, phones, and televisions. You can travel world from your chair or hospital bed, watching period dramas, slapstick comedy, relevant medical shows, and take enough on-line courses to become your own Doctor…as long as your faculties are intact.

And there is it: intact faculties. Most of us wouldn’t mind living to 100 or more if we can still, read, write, walk, and wipe ourselves, right? So, are the medical miracles helping us live longer helping us know we are living longer? You’ll never know until you get there, wherever “there’ is.

One thing we should all change our mind on, is death, especially if the Near Dead Expericencers (NDE) are to be believed. Nearly all NDE people, upon their return from death, report a heaven much too nice for most of us. Many also report not wanting to come back to life, and wondering why they did.  Can we expect the same at our own permanent death? If so, why worry? And why stigmatize suicide and outlaw assisted suicide and euthanasia?

It’s Monday so the post took a somber turn, or did it? One thing that makes a difference in and about life is how you view it, how you perceive it, and how you process it. And what you should always consider is there is no other choice than what happens on the macro level: you will die.

Will you suffer cognitive decline in old age? Not if you die young. One NDE describes his experience by comparing his life to a laptop computer. There is a memory on the old laptop you can transfer to a new laptop, and then you can discard the old and recycle it. That may sound matrixy (sic) but if it helps… embrace it. And don’t forget to keep some empty thumb drives* around, just in case.

Next post we’ll talk about Aliens and how they affect modern life through movies, plays, television, and Oscar voting.

*Memory sticks, or whatever else they are called these days.

Why Now?

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Mysticism: a belief or experience involving a direct connection with the divine or ultimate reality, and can also refer to an altered state of consciousness.

No one really understands the brain. We’re close, but not close enough to mapping the 86 billion neurons making up an average brain. Add to the complexity, each neuron can have hundreds of thousands of synapses, or connections to other neurons. 86 billion times 100,000 equals…

So when someone says they have a mystical experience, what does it mean? Is it in fact a connection with the “ultimate reality” (safe way to include all deities), or is it a misfire, a malfunction of something in the synapses and neurons?

As a young man, I experienced episodes of “dazed happenings” lasting from 30-60 seconds. They were times when my mind went wandering and I let go, resulting in feelings of connection and “great peace” with the world. They faded with maturation but were never forgotten. I labeled them “Grace Periods.”

With the onset of The Calamities in 2023, and after months of drug treatments and radiation, the Grace Periods tried to make a comeback. Maybe. In the months following treatment, the “mind wandering” would start, but the first few times it continued down a darker path and felt like approaching death, so I fought the wandering and found my way back to “normal”. Subsequent UNC research revealed a name and possible cause: Orthostatic Imbalance from too much potassium. Limiting potassium and quick, body position changes ended the “Dark” wanderings

But as you can probably tell by my last post, the wandering has returned. And if the wandering is unchecked, the result is trees talk to me and there is beauty everywhere. God’s beauty, or the “Ultimate Reality’s” beauty. Its a funny thing (strange funny) to feel. “Things” disappear. Things like worry, anxiety, pain, the unfathomable, bottomless questions about “being”. All gone. Nothing but contentment. Not happiness, just a feeling everything will not just be okay, but it will be what it is meant to be. The wandering is still not understood. But, all is well.

As a senior citizen, my first understanding of why these things happen is the close relationship to death. Or closer, relationship of age. A few months back I wrote about a midnight revelation (See: “Whoa…really?” from May 10, 2024.) which may be related to the Grace Periods.

A rational, scientific mind could interpret what I’ve described as the misfiring of complicated bionic equipment and connections in an aging brain.

A mystical person, however, would revel in the evidence of a Grand Design from the Ultimate Reality, who has something fantastic in mind for one of His/Her/Its creations.

Maybe someday we’ll know but right now, both explanations sound right to me. Contentment is a wonderful thing, even if it’s not understood.