There are a lot less dishes to wash if you eat out every meal. And the savings from less water, no dish soap, no need for double-sided sponges, dish drying racks, etc. should be enormous. Plus, your time spent washing dishes can now be spent watching Brit Box.

Never get a sliver in the bottom of your foot if you live alone.

Take yoga classes BEFORE trying to cut your own toenails. Don’t be a hero, warm up, first.

At the grocery store where you buy small packages of rotisserie chicken from yesterdays chicken, look for the plastic packages with some condensation. It means the pulled chicken meat was put in the package warm, right off the bone, and might be fresh.

If you have different vision in each eye, you can buy dollar magnifying reading glasses “off the shelf” at one magnifying power per pair. So buy one pair at the right eye magnification, one pair with the left eye magnification, and buy them both with the same frame style. Then pop the pertinent lens out of one and install it in the other. If your right eye needs a 1.5 and your left needs a 3.0, though, remember you’ll only get one pair with the correct magnification power lenses in the correct sides.

If you’re taking multivitamins, find some online app to track your food. What you eat, even cardboard, has some nutrients. A fact most medical people don’t share is you can take too much of some nutrients, and your body may not like it or simply eliminate the excess. When you track your eating with an app that has access to a nutrient database, you may find you are  getting all the Vitamin D you need from what you eat, and the extra pill you take is just a waste of time and money. Any nutrient you are worried about is online to research because some stuff can CAUSE problems in doses exceeding what you need. Do research and keep track. This is a perfect and effective use of the internet. Or buy a book.

Don’t pay attention to how people talk. I’ve essayed before about “ums”, “like”, misplaced pronouns, and other grammatical and lexicographical oddities. Those issues are not getting better and if you notice them you run the danger of not just being tormented by their ear-jarring repetition but also put yourself in danger of succumbing to their power. I have already lost my own linguistic freedom to resist including “Yeah, I mean”* before answering a question. “Like” is so prevalent in dialogue the hair stands up on the back of my neck when I hear it, and I don’t hear any more of what is said. Not a good way to live.

Do not ever, EVER, pay attention to sports announcers who know you’re watching but still have to use phrases like “That was a good run, there”. Where? Behind my chair? I missed it.  And do we need to know if a player “has a warrior mentality” or a “football IQ”? Can’t type, my old-school eyes are rolling too fast.

This got way off track, but explain why Broadcast News Announcers breathlessly run through the night’s stories in the beginning of the show, only to have in-depth reporting later from Joe or Elaine—”in the field”– say the same things? And exactly when is news “Breaking” or not breaking? And what happened to complete sentences???

Oh, well. As my dear, imaginary friend Dr. Wright says: “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

Hmph.

*The phrase has become one word.