gambling

Happiness or Contentment?

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A recent conversation at our early morning Turning Stone Resort and Casino Fitness Center Meeting sparked an interesting idea: would you rather be happy or content?*

You can’t answer if you don’t know the difference between the two. You can google or Ai both words on your own time, but it’s worth noting “contentment’s” etymology: “From the Middle English ‘contentement’, satisfaction of a claim or debt.” Did you think being content had anything to do with financial stuff?

Jury’s out, but let’s look at examples.

I was the first to the meeting and as I sat on the couch in front of the fireplace in the beautiful entrance hall, it occurred to me I was content. I was pain-free, did not lose any money in the morning’s gambling, was waiting for friends, and had no current life-threatening medical issues. The fireplace makes navel contemplation easy and contentment was the result of a contemplation free of issues, free of doubt, free of discomfort. And it was warm. And friends were coming to join me. It was a time for a clear mind to get out of the way and just bask in the glow from both the fire and the “satisfaction of a claim or debt”.

Minutes earlier on the gambling floor, I had won big on a favorite machine. ** As the “one-armed bandit” ramped up its big-payout bells and whistles and sirens, I was happy. Out of this world happy. How much would I win? Could I take a trip to the Bahamas?

Eh. Not the Bahamas but as noted earlier, the win was an integral component of the ensuing contentment. It wasn’t The Big Win, but it wasn’t a loss. It was enough to not spoil the morning but not enough to change a life.

I’m a big fan of contentment but wouldn’t kick happiness out of bed for eating crackers, if you’ll pardon the immature, misogynistic comment. It appears contentment is also “trainable”. You can teach it to sit and stay, for example.*** Contentment is like fruit on a tree, it’s there anytime you want it if know how to get it. It might even be shareable(sic) with a close friend or someone in need.

Happiness seems to involve luck. Serendipity. Being in the right place at the right time and—again—being able to recognize it ****. And as my machine blared my success earlier this morning, a look around the gambling floor revealed faces not exactly happy with my happiness. They may even have been harboring bad thoughts, or hoping my final amount would not be enough to make me too happy.

One thing noted as this essay unfolded: contentment is readily available if we notice it and cultivate it. We can get it anytime. It’s like a small, ocean-rounded rock you put in your pocket.

Happines? Not so much, it is mercurial, it comes and goes on the whims and impulses of The Gods.

Can they exist together? No. Happiness can help cause contentment, and contentment—probably—can help inspire or attract happiness, but only contentment is a life-changer: once you know to find it, the world is your oyster…most of the time.

And if you can’t find contentment now, be patient. Wait. It might be around the next corner…lurking…waiting for you to say hi.

*Spoiler alert: don’t read this footnote first cause happiness is sometimes defined as a feeling of contentment, and this essay is attempting to reduce confusion, not add to it.

**As a 50-cent per play bettor, winning $5.50 is a “big win”. In Trump math it’s about 1,000%.

***Still working on “fetch” and “roll over”.

****Ever wonder how lucky you are to NOT be in a place at the Wrong time? Ever drive by an accident and Thank God you were not in that exact spot 5 minutes earlier?

American Banking and Ai…a Fun Financial Foray

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My new credit union in NY added to my despair over modern, corporate customer service. To be efficient with my banking, moving funds to NY from North Carolina made sense. But the Credit Union (CU) selected in NY is proving to be…inefficient. And that’s being kind. It’s a strange world where a 73-year-old with no criminal record, a lifetime of credit usage, and Credit Scores over 800 has trouble borrowing money. Side Bar: Transunion suggested my score could be nearly “perfect”, if my records contained a “Closed End Installment Account” like a car loan, personal loan, mortgage, something with an end date, since all my credit accounts are “revolving”, or open lines of credit.* So I applied on-line for a small, personal installment loan from the new CU in New York to flesh out the credit resume.  A quick, electronic declination followed. A quick call to a human revealed the lines of credit, unused but open, made me a “credit risk”.  An inquiry about what a credit score of 800 means got this reply: “It proves you’ve paid off loans in the past, but we are unsure about your ability.” *

Savings and checking accounts had been opened with the NY CU and small sums were deposited as trial amounts. After the loan debacle, it was decided moving money to NY would not be efficient. In the meantime, I’d used small amounts** from the checking account. One morning I withdrew the “last” $20 ** and the ATM let it happen.

When I checked my NY CU account later that day, the checking account was overdrawn and been charged a $28 fee. No problem, most CUs and Banks give you a free mistake a year so I’ll talk to customer service at the CU and see if they could help. The NY CU website said customer service was available “Mon-Fri from 7:30AM to 9PM EST”. At 8:45AM I called and sat on the phone tree over 25 minutes. *** “You are caller Number 3, 2, 1.” Finally, a male answered and explained “We open at 9”. (If I’d called at 7, would the phone tree have looped me for two hours, if I was dumb enough to wait?) The live male “looked into” my problem and went to talk with his “manager”. The live male returned and offered a refund of $14. I asked why cash could be withdrawn that was not in the account and here is his response: “We automatically sign you up for overdraft protection when you open your accounts. It automatically gives you what you ask for.” And why an Overdraft Fee of $28? Answer: “Policy.” I asked to have the automatic, free “benefit” removed from my accounts.

Important fact for the reader: I was livid after the overdraft phone call, but now the $14 loss and wasted time feel insignificant. As an old girlfriend used to say, “Why are you making such a big $%^&ing deal about it?”  Thanks for listening and if you’re not okay with simply letting me vent, send a bill for YOUR wasted time and my Ai policies will handle it.

As for modern American Companies’ customer service and “Policies”…a mix of Ai and humans is worse than Ai, or humans, alone. Sadly, the future will be just Ai. Caveat emptor, everyone, all the time.

God help us all.

*I don’t know why, for all.

** Money for gambling at Turning Stone Resort and Casino. Sometimes I lose…

*** While doing other things like clipping nails, etc.

Not Again…

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If you are a regular reader you know about The Calamities, and that a new calamity may be added to the list, soon. A colonoscopy revealed the potential for a new Big C, but until the biopsy comes back, let’s focus on the fun things in life.

After the completion of the anal butt scanning, the perpetrators handed me a form to sign. “I’ll sign anything,” I said, still high from the anesthesia. My daughter read it to me later. It was an innocuous list of things to be careful about post-colonoscopy, like don’t drive, and be ready for slight dizziness when standing up. The last item on the list?  “Do not sign any legal documents” until full recovery.

My move from a tennis hotbed in Durham, NC, to Rome, NY, thirteen months ago caused a sharp decline in tennis participation. Aside from The Calamities, my sudden (and complete) dearth of tennis capacity is because there is no one in Rome who plays tennis. No one. Anywhere. Except in the operating room at my colonoscopy. The anesthesiologist plays! Silver lining, much? It’s only been 24 hours, but he hasn’t called. Maybe he didn’t like me…

Turning Stone Resort and Casino (TS) is my favorite fitness center. After exercising old bones and muscles, I’ll toddle down to the gaming floor or sidle over to The Emerald, the 24-hour restaurant, or do both. Fitness starts at 6am and all other activities follow…perfect timing. Last week I vowed to never gamble again as a string of bad luck wiped all my winnings and plus, stupidly, $10 from my savings. But the bad news of yesterday’s colonoscopy inspired me to risk another $10 this morning. It is the “yin and yang”** of life: bad luck yesterday, good luck today, right? Complementary forces in the Universe. Great winnings were expected.

The house quickly and efficiently took my $10 so it was off to the usual omelet and potatoes breakfast at The Emeralds, where good luck finally revealed itself. They make home fries with onions (Why does anyone do that?), so for years at Emeralds my potato side was French fries. Not bad for the rest of the day, but home fries or hash browns are de rigueur** for morning ingurgitation**. But today, this very morning, a waitress with a heart of gold and probably some power over the cook, had them make onion-less home fries for my dining pleasure. Yang is back, baby!

The Yankees lost to the Mets and…stop. Doesn’t belong here.

Lesson learned? On the drive home this morning, a sadly inept driver hogged the smooth inner, passing lane of the four-lane highway. As I began to pass the idiot on the rough, trucked-up outer lane, he slowed, and turned left, exiting the highway. Whoever was driving did not get the benefit of my screaming face and extended middle digit.  Lesson: things aren’t always what they seem so don’t overreact. Keep your wits about you. After further internal discussion, though, the facial and digital displays were judged situationally(sic) appropriate as the driver did not use their blinker. A lesson for all of us.

The morning’s weather deserved cursing, too, as a cold rain sifted down through the clouds during the morning drive to TS. With the darkness and 50-degree temperature, it was the kind of cold that seeps into old bones. A well-thought-out lamentation, followed by a sufficiently remorseful prayer failed to affect any climate change. But hours later, as my car exited the TS parking garage, the rising sun fought through the clouds with just enough success to showcase the intense, budding, beautiful greenery of upstate NY. Yin and Yang, again.

Okay. My mind is back in balance. Yin and Yang. Que sera, sera. Let it be. An important thing to remember in times like these is how good life has been. No calamity should ever make you forget.

**google it. Fun stuff.

Somethings I Wonder About….

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Why on God’s green earth aren’t there more days like the ones in late March or early April when the sun comes out, the sky is blue, the weather warm, and the world is full of promise? God KNOWS, we could use them. Italics mine and on purpose. The squeaky wheel gets greased.

My weekly surrender of $5 to the insidious, flinty one-armed-bandits at Turning Stone Resort and Casino didn’t work out the way Casino management planned, this morning. I put my $5 bill in the slot, played my 40 cent bet,…and the machine exploded! When the dust cleared and sirens stopped, I’d won a total of $9.50. I cashed out my $14.50 and went to breakfast at Emerald in the casino. It didn’t ruin my morning, but the price of the NY Cheese and 3 Egg Omelet was no longer last week’s $12. It is now $15.12 cents with tax. Yes, I tipped well and the day is still the best one of the year…so far. A related, no-criticizing question: when will the price of eggs go down?

It is apparent the body is affected by weather, and as noted in the first paragraph, this morning is a good morning. The 72 going on 73 year old aches and pains accepted daily as a fact of life overslept this morning. They didn’t show up for work. It is always wonderful when days like this happen. Knock on wood so it lasts all day.

As a young man I chased a romantic ideal probably consistent with most young man. The result was several close calls but nothing like The Ideal. And, as with most young men, the “ideal” changed through the years so what I might like to find now, in a partner bears no resemblance to the younger hope. Please note we are not talking simply physical ideals. It was an early lesson learned that packaging is only part of the person. Do women learn the same lesson? Anyway, the thing generating wonder, here, is the thought of how many of the young who fell short of the young Ideal, would be perfect for the new, older Ideal. To put it another way: did the quest for an ideal at 20 lead me to pass by the one who would have been ideal at 72? The first thought is yes, and it makes me want to apologize to certain females. Sadly, some might not be alive. If a second thought surfaces, I’ll let you know.

There was a beautiful, little movie on TV yesterday called “77 Chances”. DirectTV has replaced YouTube TV as my main TV content provider and I was checking out the channels. My water glass needed filling while passing a “Christian” themed station, and the movie hooked me before I could change the channel. Look it up. It’s about “point of view”, mainly, and the movie made me a little happier for the time spent with it. No guns. No Ninjas. No heroes. Just people. Of note, if it matters, it is low budget, in a good way.

And that leads into the concept of heroes and the modern, American male/hero. I’ve said so often the MAGA movement is about insecurity, and we see it every day with the whining and blaming and spite suddenly integral parts of our governmental discourse. Long story shortened: there are many heroes on TV these days who are not insecure, who can take criticism without firing a shot, and who never lose confidence in doing what is right instead of just talking about it. John Wick. Longmire. Raylan Givens.  Edward Horniman. Colter Shaw. Heroes with empathy, not insecurity. Not sure about the actors, but kudos to the writers and actors for stylish, intelligent, charismatic, likable action figures.

Nap time…perchance to dream…