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The Dawn of Man was when, again?

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Do NOT Ai (google) “The Dawn Of* Man”. The result isn’t pornographic or even humorous. Just lengthy. The exact time man “dawned” will never be known but it is fun to think about. Sometime in the past, somewhere where there were no cell phones, a hominoid stood up and said, in caveman language, “I am man.” It’s been a wild ride since. This post has elected to use “Man” as an asexual generic term referring to whatever it was(sic*) we were back in those days. Until fig leaves were found, we probably all looked similarly potato-ish* and hairy, until certain times when nature ordered us to procreate in the most attractive ways.

The idea of The Dawn of Man came up during a conversation with a friend of mine named Al. (Sidebar: the lowercase L and upper case I look the same on my qwerty. From now on Artificial Intelligence will be Ai, with a dotted “i”. Fixing first sentence, now.) Al’s name may or may not be his real name, but any friends reading this will know who he is. Al declined to engage in trying to imagine the time in history when we changed from walking hominoids closely resembling apes, to the eventual rulers/polluters of the world. His point is, well, he doesn’t have a point except that it’s a fruitless exercise and a native-born North Carolinian does not engage in fruitless exercises. When the Civil War was carelessly mentioned, he went off script, anyway, meandering around the Northern War of Aggression he still mentally fights to this day. His only contribution to my inquiry was to tell me he had to air fry some chicken, but then changed his mind to soup, adding “No one is ever going to know, anyway.”

The picture in my head of air frying soup lasted only a moment and the question of when man knew he was The Man, returned. Religion answers the question nicely, with titillating pics of Adam and Eve eyeing each other over a ripe apple. I can believe that because if God wanted it to be that way, that’s the way it would be. But I’m not sure God was that specific, in the early days. My guess is He was trying things out, seeing how they worked. Following this line of thought it’s easy to imagine Him looking at these two particular Hominoids* and saying “Yes, that’s it.” Then, maybe, a bolt of lightning into each brain and—voila—mankind is ready for dawning.

But the Robin Williams comedy lover in me sees a different scenario and it may not be that far from the truth. One hominoid kills a wooly mammoth in the middle of the summer with some shale-tipped spears and reckless abandon. He/She/Them knows the summer sun will rot the meat and comes up with the second, original idea: “I can’t eat all this today.”  He/She/Them thought this, of course, since there was no language and he/she/them had a third idea: “Give some to the others.” But how to express any of these thoughts? (PS the slate tipped spear was the first idea.) It’s my postulation that Sign Language was the first form of communication. Imagine our suddenly smart hominoid running back to the others and dragging them by the arm to the mammoth carcass. Mime may have been invented then, too. It makes sense. Our early ancestors were mimers.*

 We mark time in our history for those events we can chronicle and remember. How we got the ability to chronicle is the subject of many episodes of “Ancient Aliens”. But where the show sees alien encounters all around the world, the “evidence” is really proof of a higher power, a comprehensive, coordinated higher power. It feeds an often debunked but never forgotten evolutionary theory we are in an ant farm, and our lives are directed by the Ant Farm Owner. He/She/Them could make us do whatever he/she/them wants us to do. And somehow, they gave us just enough intelligence to contemplate free will versus fate. Genius.

So, the “Dawn of Man” is when we were dropped into the sand. And when we die (see last post) we get plucked out and thrown in the garbage bin. Unless our owner gives us a decent burial in a match box.

Make a movie about that, Stanley Kubrick.

Comments welcome, and sorry, Al for plopping your name in here.

         *Google grammar says all these are wrong. As if I care, anymore. I’m old.

Somethings I Wonder About….

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Why on God’s green earth aren’t there more days like the ones in late March or early April when the sun comes out, the sky is blue, the weather warm, and the world is full of promise? God KNOWS, we could use them. Italics mine and on purpose. The squeaky wheel gets greased.

My weekly surrender of $5 to the insidious, flinty one-armed-bandits at Turning Stone Resort and Casino didn’t work out the way Casino management planned, this morning. I put my $5 bill in the slot, played my 40 cent bet,…and the machine exploded! When the dust cleared and sirens stopped, I’d won a total of $9.50. I cashed out my $14.50 and went to breakfast at Emerald in the casino. It didn’t ruin my morning, but the price of the NY Cheese and 3 Egg Omelet was no longer last week’s $12. It is now $15.12 cents with tax. Yes, I tipped well and the day is still the best one of the year…so far. A related, no-criticizing question: when will the price of eggs go down?

It is apparent the body is affected by weather, and as noted in the first paragraph, this morning is a good morning. The 72 going on 73 year old aches and pains accepted daily as a fact of life overslept this morning. They didn’t show up for work. It is always wonderful when days like this happen. Knock on wood so it lasts all day.

As a young man I chased a romantic ideal probably consistent with most young man. The result was several close calls but nothing like The Ideal. And, as with most young men, the “ideal” changed through the years so what I might like to find now, in a partner bears no resemblance to the younger hope. Please note we are not talking simply physical ideals. It was an early lesson learned that packaging is only part of the person. Do women learn the same lesson? Anyway, the thing generating wonder, here, is the thought of how many of the young who fell short of the young Ideal, would be perfect for the new, older Ideal. To put it another way: did the quest for an ideal at 20 lead me to pass by the one who would have been ideal at 72? The first thought is yes, and it makes me want to apologize to certain females. Sadly, some might not be alive. If a second thought surfaces, I’ll let you know.

There was a beautiful, little movie on TV yesterday called “77 Chances”. DirectTV has replaced YouTube TV as my main TV content provider and I was checking out the channels. My water glass needed filling while passing a “Christian” themed station, and the movie hooked me before I could change the channel. Look it up. It’s about “point of view”, mainly, and the movie made me a little happier for the time spent with it. No guns. No Ninjas. No heroes. Just people. Of note, if it matters, it is low budget, in a good way.

And that leads into the concept of heroes and the modern, American male/hero. I’ve said so often the MAGA movement is about insecurity, and we see it every day with the whining and blaming and spite suddenly integral parts of our governmental discourse. Long story shortened: there are many heroes on TV these days who are not insecure, who can take criticism without firing a shot, and who never lose confidence in doing what is right instead of just talking about it. John Wick. Longmire. Raylan Givens.  Edward Horniman. Colter Shaw. Heroes with empathy, not insecurity. Not sure about the actors, but kudos to the writers and actors for stylish, intelligent, charismatic, likable action figures.

Nap time…perchance to dream…

It’s Been A Bad Year…Thanks, Mr. Wright!

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2025 has not been kind. Yet. It might be though, right? Eventually?

It began well with a great lead in from December: hip replacement surgery ended years of pain, cancer is in remission, and AMD is stopped in its tracks. Great end to 2024 and lead in to “The Next Year.”

Hip recovery went swimmingly but New York’s 2025 weather prohibited a normal “scale-up” of activities. Venturing into winter weather with a new hip was compounded by the worst winter weather in upstate NY in 60 years. Outdoor recreational mobility/recovery was DENIED, even as the maintenance gurus of the apartment complex–the salters, shovelers, skid-steer operators who, bless their hearts—did yeoman’s work scraping out a few minutes a day for safe walking. What exactly is a “yeoman”? Be right back.

Yeoman: “a man holding and cultivating a small, landed, estate” among other things listed in the Oxford Dictionary.  Lots more, too.

Shortened story: stuck inside for months with a good hip and nowhere to go. But I did find an antidote to the malaise 2025 is intent on dropping me into: The wise words of Dr. Steven Wright. (I awarded him an honorary degree.) Dr. Wright told me through the printed collection of his sayings “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

Hm.

Then Trump took office. I made a new year’s resolution not to write about him, but he does so much…how did he get elected? Maybe, per the good doc, “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”.  Think about it…

Dr. Wright: “Half the people you know are below average.” What? And an explanation: “82.47% of statistics are made up on the spot.” A concisely contemporary, pure propagation of punditry.

It’s concerning to me that our current political shenanigans don’t make me laugh, anymore. There must have been a very sad, recent shift in my attitude towards our political class. Un-humorous worry is a constant companion. Dr. Wright, help please?

““My mechanic told me, “I can’t repair you brakes so I made your horn louder.”” Note: Double quotation marks are grammatical, not ironic.

Perfect.

As a sidebar, he reminded me: “The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”

Dr. Wright also helped me understand most of our current politicians, and how they can live with themselves: “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

And for all of loyal, fanatical, know—it—all online Demoncrats and Repugnicans, “A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”

No more politics. Back to me. New advice?

“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up”, he offers.

Okay. I’m better. You?

Remember this, too, “Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”

And if any of this did not make your day better, here’s consolation in Dr. Wright’s words: “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.”

Full disclosure: Steven Wright is not really a doctor, but he should play one on TV.

Next posting we will attempt to answer the age-old Wright question: “What is the speed of dark?”

Contributions and comments welcomed.

Lets Have Some Pun!

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The New Year Resolutions haven’t been going so well. Let’s talk about them later, okay? The first week of the New Year has not been kind to mental happiness as upstate NY suffered though a “lake effect” storm where someone (Mother Nature? God? The Buffalo Bills?) dropped snow on us every day, and blew it around like drunken confetti. We are still under a State Of Emergency prohibiting “unnecessary travel”. I watched the entire debacle from The Chair positioned in front of my huge apartment windows and enjoyed every second of the first few days. Now, in Day 6, it is time for necessary travel. Anywhere.

One last thing, people sure are interesting (30 percent?). One guy brushed snow off his car (it’s a northern thing) in his shorts. It was 6 degrees out and he didn’t last long. Another decided “no necessary travel” was not “no travel” and rocked his car back and forth in a parking lot drift until giving up and not coming back for two days. People did all sorts of strange things and the snow removing machines worked round the clock. Mother Nature just sent more.

So for Christmas I got a book and, yes, I read a lot when the parking action was slow. A lot. The book is titled: “Learn a Lot While You’re on the Pot”, by Jack Haynes. Without breaking a resolution, I’ll just say as we age, bowel movements seem to-how to say this–take their time. It’s a senior thing younger readers will learn eventually, but Mr. Haynes has capitalized on that “slowness” to offer a tidy book about all sorts of things. It’s 136 pages on 5 million (I exaggerate) subjects so it’s not comprehensive as much as pithy in its prose. It makes it easy to finish a topic or two before…you know.

My favorite sections is entitled : “Best Puns and Wordplay”. Let the games begin with an obvious groaner: “I once gave a performance about it Puns. It was just a play on words.”

Some puns only work when they are typed: “My friend became a vegetarian, even after I told him it was a big missed steak.” Say it out load to someone and they just stare at you. Like: “Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.” Or: “Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? All that’s left is de-brie.”

Some are better spoken: “The future, the past, and the present walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.” You may have to wait for that spark of recognition on that one, but it’s worth it. Or: “I told my wife to embrace her mistakes and she gave me a hug.”

Sadly, there are some clunkers: “What do you call fake spaghetti? Im-pasta.” Ugh. “My son says he’s friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet, He doesn’t know y.”

Related: “My daughter said that after she ate alphabet soup she had a vowel movement.”

I’ll end this torture with my two favorites: “It’s been a terrible winter for Humpty Dumpty. But at least he had a great fall.” And, maybe not so much funny as apt: “I’ve discovered that where there’s a will, there’s a relative.”

Crap. One more: “Did you here about the toilet that was stolen from the Police Department? The cops have nothing to go on.”

Hope this helped any of those who were trapped at home with themselves, or even worse, family. Just remember: “Don’t let anyone call you average. That’s just mean.”

Reverend Barber of North Carolina on TDS

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It is not often a serious discussion gets a lengthy exposure without a gaggle of jokes on Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show (TDS) on Comedy Central, streamed the next day on Paramount Plus. It is a comedy show.

But Reverend William Barber of North Carolina was a guest Monday night, June 17, 2024, and the weight of the discussion kept Jon from the usual antics during guest appearances. It is a Comedy show.

The subject of poverty is a heavy weight to bear. Watch the show or get the Reverend’s new Book titled “White Poverty” to see exactly how heavy.

Much was discussed but the one thing never mentioned, at least not heard by me, is what the real problem with poverty is: it is a historically classic example of Got Mine Go Away (GMGA). The numbers of people in poverty is staggering, even with the lowest estimates. The affect of said poverty on millions of people is a national disgrace rivaling the fentanyl and firearms catastrophes. And the border, too.

Dr. Barber’s point is the people suffering from poverty are not who you think they are. And they don’t act the way you think they act. Racism is a part of poverty, but it is more a class/caste war. Not a black-white issue but a true Us against Them in a capitalist battle nearing a tipping point. The downtrodden can only suffer so much for so long.

When you hear someone has “escaped from poverty”, who do you picture? And who did they take with them? It is a class of people and a way of life, and when you escape it there’s no going back. No returning to break the cycle for others. I’ve no facts to know this statement is true except to note poverty still exists and the Poverty Class is growing. There will be dire consequences for civilization if the Poverty Class reaches a point where there is no nope and no chance, and nothing to regret.

Musk, Bezos, Allen, Crowe, Buffet, Soros, others might be trying to help. But how hard? After all, the Capitalist System NEEDS a loser class, a Poverty Class, to ensure the unending flow of riches to those that do not need any more. Musk, alone could give nearly $1billion to every state in our union and see if helps make sure people have enough to eat, have water which won’t kill them, and healthcare when they need it.

It isn’t as simple as money because anytime money is flowing, aspiring Capitalists will be there to swallow it up. But it seems we could do something. Or at least talk about it. Anyone? Look how fast the rich respond when higher taxes are proposed. Can they solve poverty as fast? As least for one generation?

Watch the interview and check out the Reverend’s book.

Anyone.