A reader said I exaggerated the characters in the first Duh, making them look like stereotypical hicks. The reader is partly correct. Toothless really only has a partial upper plate. In the small locker room before and after he takes out the plate, puts it in a pink, plastic box, and clicks the box closed. I shouldn’t have to detail he did the reverse after his workouts. Why? Next time I see him I’ll ask and get back to everyone.

Comb over guy didn’t really have a comb-over. He just parted his hair starting at the top of his left ear and “styled” it all the way over to the top of his right ear. I’m told the style is called a Mid-Life Fade. It is not a difficult look to maintain (at least for a few moments) and in the locker room he was always pleased with himself after checking out the mirror. If there was an overhead mirror he might have thought differently.

There are probably many handsome, hirsute-y, intellectuals out there who might act the same, but the stereotype of who believes what he/she/them read on the internet is a meme because of anecdotal facts, not conjecture, in my world. (Note: anecdotal facts are the worst kind). The people I encounter who affirm publicly they are smarter than they are, are people who don’t have enough sense to take care of themselves, their teeth, their hairstyles, and their general outlook on the world. Sadly, this character–and his/her/them proclamations– have become the norm, especially in political courts of both colors. I say both colors to be fair, buy my own experience is with republicans/conservatives who are always right about a certain individual. No matter what. (See previous GMGA piece from last year.)

But it is a bad meme. I’ve known countless eccentrics, hillbillies, lazy-asses, and people who simply didn’t care how they look who were intelligent and humble more than normal. It is true you can’t tell a book by its cover, but it’s probably true, too, a bad cover probably represents a bad book.

Sorry I got lost on this…just tired. But if you ever want to proclaim in public how smart you are and how much more you know than anyone else, don’t.

The last piece I wrote about the United States of Duh was a little “ranty”. If we forget the sophistically complicated nature of discourse about fact and fiction, I still need to apologize for the basic “fact” overlooked in all serious discussions, including my article.

The fact overlooked: most people have no pride. Remember the quote about keeping your mouth shut to to remove all doubt? It does not seem to apply to Americans: they don’t care if they’re wrong and they don’t care who knows it.

How does any one reason with that?

Two guys were diatribing in my favorite gym about how foreign countries “don’t respect America, anymore.” One of the two had not replaced his teeth, yet, after his workout, and his conversational partner’s comb-over had come undone and I saw a chance to learn more about two gym guys in Upstate NY knowing how other countries feel about America. Apologies to smart people for how bullyish I sound in this discussion.

Me. “Have either of you been to another country? Talked to foreigners?”

Comb-over: “Yeah, I been to Madison.”

“Country, not county,” I had to say.

They both muttered something unrepeatable, but I pressed on: “Have you?”

Their sideways nods indicated they hadn’t.

I pressed on and asked how they know about the aforementioned disrespect. I got the Golden Answer of the uneducated.

“Everyone knows it,” said a combative Toothless. “Its all over the news.”

Amen.

PS Apologies for at least three “made-up” words. They sounded pertinentally important at the time.

A recent opinion poll showed half of Americans believe the stock market is in decline, the economy is bad, and unemployment in May of 2024 is at an all time high.

None of that is true. In fact, the opposite is true. The S and P is at an all time high, the economy is growing by 3% per quarter and unemployment is at an all time low. So what happened to that 50% of Americans who believe the untruth?

Citizens have abandoned their newspapers and legacy radio and television news programs, and have looked to the internet for information. Really, what they are looking for is “news” that fits their world view.

Here are some things citizens should consider:

Legacy media news organizations are just that: organizations. In all news offered by legacy media companies the news is investigated, analyzed, reviewed, and often edited by more than one individual, often times many eyes see the story before its offered to citizens. It delays news somewhat, but it also keeps one person’s opinions from being reported instead of the facts.

Not so, the internet. If you are educated and have some common sense, you can see how news reporting has gotten so bad: its mostly opinion, now, not fact.

It is so sad when you discuss a fact with someone and they spout internet shit without knowing what they are talking about. To all: if you don’t understand something, don’t repeat it, and DO NOT believe it. Ask. A famous man once said: “you’ll know you’re smart when you realize how much you don’t know.” Oh, and “better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, that to open it and remove all doubt.”

Duh.

Certain legacy news organizations have seen this and to survive have joined the trend. Sadly, some have brazenly operated as opinion spewers instead of fact reporters and the ability to discern if a story is true is hard, especially if we don’t like what we hear.

It would behoove us all to abandon the interneters, twitters, tik tokers and the rest of the pod-casters and snake oil salesmen who spout dumb stories which become news as dumb citizens spread the false word.

Look to, and support news “organizations” with layers of review and get facts, rather than listen to a podcast full of opinion. We can debate the voracity of MSN versus Fox News next time. To be prepared to discuss both, it might be helpful to look up which one has been sued the most…and lost.

Next time.

But for now, stop believing shit you read on the internet.

The Great Relocation of 2024 (from NC to NY) has not gone as planned. Some good but some bad, too. It was never clear what would happen, or how things would go, so…meh.

Old friends in NY were supposed to be part of the future after the move. Yes, it might be more than a little misguided to think friends from 40-some years ago might still care to be friends, again, but I did not expect so many of them to be dead. Gone. No way to contact them.

One of the saddest was a really wonderful guy who’s phone number was hard to find. Last night, as I searched the internet for information, his obituary came up first. The sad part is he died 8 days ago after spending three months in the local hospital. I drove 760 miles to New York lived here for 33 days as of this writing, yet missed a connection to an old friend by less than a mile. (The distance from my Rome apartment to the hospital in which my old friend passed away. Eight days ago.)

Oddly, this all feels kind of humorous. Funny. Like the old joke about how to make God laugh.

Maybe late tonight, when I’m not sleeping, the weight of the loss will be heavier. Or I’ll feel it more when another medical professional asks me: “You live alone? Have any friends you can count on?” At a certain age, you lie to the medical people to keep from getting phone calls with strangers who say they care about you. Unless you really need that call.

For me, its off to other opportunities, other possibilities, other dramas, other illnesses, other losses. But with a renewed faith in the whimsical nature of a universe intent on being random, which means even at my age, something good is bound to happen.

In my last career as an Estate Planner, I worked with senior couples in the state of North Carolina. The majority of those couples had been together for decades, with one couple celebrating 70 years of marriage.

My own romantic life was turbulent, chaotic, and selfish until well into my 40s, with the reality of a single partner at one time becoming, finally, thankfully, the rule of my life from age 51 to the present 72. Selfishness was the main reason for all the turbulence/chaos, but so was a romantic ideal so unrealistic as to be dangerous: the concept of The One. The Hollywood movie “The One”. Sadly, I met about 20 of The Ones in my younger life. Oh, the humanity. And lawyer fees.

If we ignore the real world details of both my senior clients and my own life, does either lifestyle work best for our years leading to the end of life?

You can’t know how happy those old couples are really, and if they are unhappy its hard to blame a relationship since so much bad happens in our later years. There are too many variables: disease, dementia, arthritis, etc.

When 2023 fell apart for me, one of the casualties was the 20 year monogamous relationship that at one time I thought with all my heart would never, ever end. Again, no details, but as the 72 year old partner sees death in the road ahead, and the 63 year old partner can’t possibly understand that vision, its hard to see how the two could live together for the rest of his life. Or hers. Or both.

I’ve seen senior couples when one dies and the other doesn’t. It is one of the saddest things, ever, the loss of a love, a best friend, a partner of 40, 50, 60 years. Take 10 seconds and imagine it.

So in 2024 I made the choice to move 650 miles to a new state, be near daughters and grandchildren, and wait patiently for that which comes for all. And when it happens, these family members can be there.

But my partner of 20 years could not see how she could make the same choice.

In my new city I am not alone, but it feels like it.

After a long, hard, year it appears I’ve reached the other side of a really bad time.

Just in time to realize I’m 12 months closer to the end of it all.

In youth, not only is The End a very, very, very long way off, but the concept of recovery is central to the young man’s concept of invincibility. When I broke a leg, hurt a knee, twisted a neck, their was an awareness that taking time off and resting would take a few days, weeks, often just a few hours, and then life would be back to normal. A year later, life would go on as if nothing happened.

After 70, there is no such process. A week, a month, even a few days is not the panacea of the youthful, but the crossing off of days leading to the inevitable: there is no future where life would be back to normal “as if nothing ever happened”.

A famous, 70 year old comedian just said it best at his birthday: “nothing matters, it’ll all be over soon.”

Hm. The hardest part of knowing and accepting this is how to keep it from affecting the few, remaining, hours/days/months/years. And if things never get better, they do not stay the same so the only other option is how bad it can it get.

Watch, here, for some evidence of whether or not I learn to squeeze the maximum amount of joy out of the life left me.

Its been over a year since my fingers touched keys and produced a legible sentence.

During that time I was diagnosed with (in this order): cancer, arthritis, and Advanced Macular Degeneration (AMD). It seems I’m getting old. Aging.

All the circumstances surrounding these three health issues will be talked about in the future but here are some observations of importance:

1. Hearing the word “cancer” when my OWN health was being discussed was one of the hardest, strangest events of my life. Almost as bad as Red, The Dog, dying. It was less of an event than the death of my mom, but the impact a six letter word can have on your view of life is not to be overstated.
2. The US Health Care System (UHCS) is a mess. My care over the last 12 months was mainly marked by confusion, poor communication, and 6 figure financial bills. Sadly: too much of the UHCS is dominated by financial concerns that usually are of no benefit to the patient but huge benefit to the Insurance and Health Care Providers that rule the world of care. It’s got to be a fine line doctors walk to determine the correct care for an individual patient without costing the patient too much money or missing an opportunity to save the patients life. Its was astounding the cost of my care and it felt like some providers were more attuned to cost than care. More on that, later.
3. There are a lot of smart people on the internet. Who knew? When faced with my cancerous dilemma, I found the best information, help, and support from the various blogs at the Mayo Clinic, Harvard Health, and others. The most important lesson learned from all the participants was this: each patient is a unique individual and no one should be forced to endure a drug or operational protocol simply because it worked for others. It will be hard and take time from the doctors/specialists, but they need to see the person/patient the doctors are treating as that unique human being, not a slot-filling, money-generator. My heart goes out to all the care providers who really, really try to do the right thing for the patient and yet, have to keep supporting the hospital system that writes their paychecks.
4. Of Note: Both insurance companies and the UHCS are well off. Don’t feel bad for them. At all.

Last month there was a murder in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. According to local news outlets, the murder happened “feet” from security cameras installed by the city to help combat rising crime.

However, due to “budget cuts” the cameras service had been shut off since 2018.

The state of North Carolina is controlled by Republicans who cut taxes every chance they get, and have proposed an amendment to the state Constitution saying taxes CAN NOT be raised past a certain level, thus limiting the amount of income available to the state now and forever.

The heavily-gerrymandered Republican Legislature is also proud of a “Rainy Day” surplus of about $6 billion.

Raleigh, the capital of North Carolina, has employment vacancies in both its Fire and Police departments, and both public service groups recently protested low pay as a problem. So did Emergency services.

The state is also trying to deal with a very public lawsuit that resulted in a court decision ordering the state to spend more on Public Education. The Leandro case determined the NC Legislature has been under-funding Public Education by millions of dollars a year for many years, and was–therefore–not providing a proper education to its citizens.

In the meantime, the legislature has refused to expand Medicaid in the state, leaving close to a million citizens uninsured. Why does the legislature refuse to accept Federal Money to expand a state program? Politics.

These are all random, but connected, facts. Many different reasons can explain all of them, and spin the narrative of each issue to the liberal or conservative viewpoint.

But simply put, the state of North Carolina is a “business friendly” state. Not a citizen friendly state. And we are true “Trickle down” state in the eyes of our elected politicians: all boats will be lifted by the rising tide of new jobs flooding the state.

It’s an experiment in true Capitalism, free market forces, and constitutionally guaranteed freedoms.

As a 71 year old, healthy, financially secure, white man with two adult kids, I appreciate all the legislatures has done for me.

Is everyone else in North Carolina as grateful?

Maybe not. Health outcomes, marginalization, low-income jobs, low income housing, climate change, mental health…none of these issues matter to our politicians as much as Critical Race Theory or Second Amendment Rights, or what bathrooms will be used by what people. We even have a Lieutenant Governor who is religiously against abortion, now, but not years ago when he needed one.

Ah, well. Maybe one day politicians will realize when they win an election with 51 percent of the vote it is not mandate to forget the other 49 percent.

If you’re worried about the end of democracy, and even civilization, look to North Carolina as the canary in the coal mine.