As Luck Would Have It…

One of the awesome and unfathomable aspects of life is Luck. Fate. Chance. It begins at birth and never really ends. It is the luck/fate/chance of genetics which first forms us and sets us on a path to whatever it is we are supposed to do.

The first, Genetic Luck, we have no control over, as it is determined by the luck/fate/chance surrounding the lives of our parents, which illustrates the duality of luck and its partnership with context/perspective. I am unlucky to not be 6 foot 6 inches and earning millions of dollars playing basketball in the NBA.

But I am lucky to not have genetic irregularities like blindness and deafness, or deformed extremities, or even no extremities.

So am I lucky or unlucky? Let’s use the slot machines at Turning Stone Resort and Casino (TS) to find out.

When I first moved to upstate NY, I frequented TS about twice a week, and earned measurable rewards in playing a certain Japanese slot machine. Good luck, right? Shortly after I started playing it, the machine was removed. Bad luck?

Since then I’ve searched for another machine at TS that allows 25 cent bets, so my $5 bankroll would last a little longer. But it was like looking for a unicorn, as TS management removed low income machines and replaced them with greedier ones. My $5 now lasts about 10 plays on a 50 cent machine, unless it “lets” me win another 50 cents, then its 11 plays. Bad luck?

It was so disheartening I stopped playing. Good luck?

My recent hip replacement (VERY good luck!) kept me from TS for 4 weeks. I use the Fitness Center at TS, by the way, which is why I visit so much, and had to stay away until after recovery.

When I returned, it was hard to find even 50 cent machines. That is, on the gaming floor, not the Fitness Center. But I did find one gathering dust in a corner off a side hallway. Luck? It hurt, but I played out my $5 without winning a cent and got up to leave, unhappy as can be, and down $5. Unlucky?

So there I was pissed, as well as unlucky, and said to myself, “Screw it, blow another $5. It’s Christmas.” It was and why that mattered, is irrelevant, maybe. When I slid the new, crisp $5 bill into the slot of the slot machine, I could feel myself slowly going over the precipice of recreational gambling and falling into the deep, dark abyss of addiction. I immediately promised: “One play. Just one”. (Where we at on lucky, unlucky? Lost track.)

It doesn’t matter. The machine lit up like a Christmas Tree (irony?) and started making sounds and sights only ever associated with “Jackpot!”. When it was done jingling and sirening (sic), I kept my promise and cashed out after one play. Lucky.

I stuffed the winnings into my wallet and walked to my car a happy man, and let Luck have some credit, too: with apologies to Lou Gehrig, I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth. For now.

And the $24.35 I won will help with medical bills in the New Year.

Remember: context/perspective.

Contentment…Awe…Happiness…Grace…

A friend sent a link to a discussion on Awe, (google Dr. Dacher Keltner for more).

It reminded me of my essay about talking to the tree: it was so old, so big, so majestic…it was awe inspiring.

It’s hard to remember all that’s written, but somewhere in past essays I’ve explained my life has moments of grace, which is a form of awe and close relative to contentment and it’s older brother, happiness. A family of deep, rich, feelings one is truly blessed to experience.

But…doesn’t everyone have these experiences? More particularly, doesn’t every OLD person have these experiences? They seem to be coming with greater frequency, as if compensation for The Calamities. Is that happening to everyone, else?

It’s doubtful. Most of my older conversational partners are trapped in mindsets longing for the good old times, a way out of the times they are in, or a way to numb themselves to what they know is to come.

Sidebar: a religious article this morning led me to ponder an old question: if you are truly righteous and believe in an afterlife, why not get there as soon as possible? Why wait? And it’s not just Christianity.

Related to the Fraternity Of Good Feelings, is The Sorority of Sad Feelings. (Not a sexist insult, simply an artistic attempt at humor. Sue me.) As noted last week, a very sad day visited but left in time to not ruin the next. It was an odd bum-rush of a feeling I used to kind of enjoy when younger. If you belong to the school of Context and Perspective, sadness helps describe and enhance happiness/contentment. How do we recognize one if the other never exists?

Another sidebar? It may be the exercise I’m doing here, right, now, is part of the reason for lower levels of sadness and higher levels of undefinable Good Feelings.

One of the things Dr. Keltner mentions in his podcast is the gratefulness he feels for how his parents raised him. For my entire life I have felt the opposite. Farm life was hard. My father was not perfect. My mother was. Maybe it’s time to stop blaming them for a life I seem to enjoy so much, now. (Oh, God, Not Nature vs. Nuture, again.)

Look. Seriously, look. For some reason sunsets and sunrises have to be photographed. I have to listen to hours of Jackson Browne. Trees talk to me. I love The Chair. And Buffalo Chicken Pizza. And…

It’s easier to find reason to be content, to be awed, than to sit and absorb the reasons to angry, sad, resentful.

Just look….