conservative

Things Learned While Aging

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Young people walk fast. I’ve looked all over Amazon but can’t find any rear-view glasses or personal turn signals to help stay out of their way. If you are in a hurry and someone old is holding you back from getting to your gym workout, there’s no way the person in front knows about the person in back, at least not yet*. As a young person, old people were often in my way or holding me up, making a 5-minute errand take 10 minutes. If I could go back in time…

Most people don’t have a sense of walking traffic patterns. It was more obvious when I was disabled but fellow pedestrians still walk directly at me, cut in front of me, and frequently simply stop in front of me. It’s not clear how much of that is caused by the subject of the preceding paragraph, but this might help readers: stay to the right, pass on the left, and don’t assume you’re the only person walking. The rear-view glasses might help, too, but old people’s brakes aren’t what they used to be, even when the old person can see you**, so think before you suddenly stop walking to do whatever it is you do when you suddenly stop walking. And if you’re walking right at me… why???

Change isn’t just a fact of life, it is personal. Newspapers were a great start to the day for over 50 years. Spread them out, let the open pages catch the toast crumbs, and scan the headlines for interesting news. Turn the page and start over. Spill your tea or coffee? Let the paper automatically clean up the mess. Then use the remainder for bird-cage lining, or package-protecting, or fly-swatting. And what has changed? Try to clip an article from your online “news aggregator” and place it in a scrapbook of your grandchild’s accomplishments. Or swat a fly. No one else has complained about this so it is assumed the demise of The Paper was directed at me. And so many old movies, too, where the father snaps open the morning paper for his coffee and enlightenment…why are these movies in MY streaming services?

Confirmation Bias is a real thing. Oxford Dictionary: “the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs. Confirmation Bias sets in and we downgrade any suggestion our views are inaccurate.” As a lifetime contrarian and Devil’s Advocate***, old age has revealed the depths and efforts of existing beliefs to maintain their hold over the public. As a young man the point was to prick and irritate, especially established educational and political systems. Old age has made the process more focused, and getting others to see they may be wrong and others may be right has become an adventure. Gently chiding liberals, however, isn’t really productive. They are so polite they tend to absorb the message and you never know if they get the point or not. Conservatives have developed over time to be less inclined for spirited debate but super eager to label and name-call****. In the past they used to be great debaters and often friends, back in the day when they didn’t feel victimized and shunned.  Consequently, straddling the fence has become painful on the crotch area instead of invigorating to the head area. Important question: can Confirmation Bias become part of a belief system that doesn’t really believe in anything?

Modern product packaging is being designed by younger and younger people. Babies, even. My most recent trial is cooking instructions for pre-cooked breakfast sausage. First, they include every known method of preparation for eating except for an air fryer, which is my choice for cooking anything. The instructions for all those other devices are written in Spanish as well as English, which puts so much writing on the package it needs to be small. You know what that means. And they use red lettering on a black background. Modern packaging has forced me to carry not only reading glasses, but a magnifying glass, as well. And find a bright light source.

One last small one: because our metabolism slows as we age, tracking food intake is a good idea. So when I eat three small pork sausages, the nutrition label states: “70 calories per 28 grams.” If you understand the problem, you are at least halfway to being an old person.

The rest of you will find out later. If you’re lucky.

*Inventors? Please?

**We’re usually looking down, for obvious reasons.

***Ai it.

****Demoncrat. Libtard. Libs have almost caught up in the name calling, though.

Good Governing Advice

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I knew about Democrats and Republicans from a young age. Kennedy, Nixon, Eisenhower, et.al.

It was college, however, when I learned about progressives and conservatives. It was 1970-71 and there were people in my university dressed way better than me with cars costing more than a year’s tuition. In the all-night, dorm-hall debates inspired by the one Freshman Year Course we all had to take, “Philosophy, Religion, and Drama”, not only were a lot of the well-dressed people (not all) Republicans, but Conservatives, as well. And some Democrats (not all) called themselves Progressives. What the hell? How many more subsets are there?

I honestly believed it was normal, almost required to switch from one to the other, and not just because of the sex appeal of the opponent, but on the issues, as well. Bright, intelligent young people could think both ways, right? Even multiple ways, threesomes, maybe?

Sadly, life revealed you had to pick one or the other, or half one and half the other, or just move to an isolated cabin in the woods. So, I picked one and got on with life, ignorant of what I’d done, but unable to be monogamous in my choice. The other choice often looked better.

I eventually learned an easy way to understand the problem. A debating poster on the web site “Quora” described it this way: “America is like a car with Progressives being the gas pedal and Conservatives being the brakes.” Wow. AI found this for me when I asked it (Him? Her? Them? It?) to tell me what significant legislation was ever passed by the Republican Party. Every Republican Bill AI located seemed to be negative, about reversing something our keeping something from happening. Or lowering taxes. There was no Great Society Program, No Civil Rights Act, Social Security Act, No Affordable Care Act. No Apollo Program. So what is the deal, Republicans?

The definition of conservative: “averse to change or innovation and holding traditional values.” (Oxford)

Progressive: “happening or developing gradually, or in stages, proceeding step by step.” (Oxford)

These two “base” adjectives grew into political nouns that ideologically oppose each other.  When we look at legislative history, it is Progressives (represented by Democrats), taking 2 steps forward, and then Conservatives (represented by Republicans) taking as many steps back as they can. If that sounds bad, it is not. It is the perfect government formula. Progressive step on the gas, Conservatives hit the brakes. Have you EVER driven a car without using both pedals? Might be interesting, but apply the same principle to governing. Progressives fight for same sex marriage, and conservatives try to pass laws to restrict it. What happens next?

I have always thought of Conservatives as “stick in the mud, hold us back, rigid, get in the way” ideologues. I still believe that but now view Conservatives as an equal, important part of the “good governance formula”. Imagine if we pressed the gas pedal all the time? Of course, we won’t get anywhere if we don’t get off the brakes. Perfect, yes?

Sadly, our new administration is not just pumping the brakes but trying to throw us into reverse and drive us to the scrapyard. It is awfully hard to see the future when you’re driving in reverse. Please, don’t try it.

Maybe that IS what we need to do, now, drive as fast as possible in reverse. We don’t need no stinking brakes, do we.