Every minute of every day I search for something life is giving back to me in exchange for all it is taking. Any man in his golden years (and probably women, too) will tell (or bore you, endlessly) about the changes to sleeping habits, eating habits, work out habits, and sex habits linked to old age. Worse, the changes do not happen in one moment, but over time, gradually, so we don’t really notice how bad our eyes are until we can no longer read the cooking directions on the frozen pizza label.

So where are the benefits we get in exchange for the lost functions and features? We have to be alert for them, but they are there.

One, for example, is a learned patience for the lack of common sense shown by American Business. Inefficiency used to drive me crazy. Waste used to make my skin crawl. An inability to accurately communicate made me apoplectic. (A favorite word, finally used!)

Thankfully, the new/old me is more relaxed, calm, and understanding. Growing old blesses us with an attitude meant to stop the bursting of blood vessels! It isn’t a learned patience as much as a gradual wearing down of the sharp edge of what used to constructive criticism. “I’ve seen it all” doesn’t mean I’m finally okay with it “all”, but means there’s so much to see, no new misfortune is worth getting excited about. (Wait, wouldn’t it be another loss?)

To wit: I walk into my favorite hardware store with an empty LP barbecue tank.

New (to me) Clerk: “What can I help you with?”

Me: “Need some gas for the barbecue.” I hold up the 33 pound, aluminum tank digging into my right palm.

Clerk: “Want us to refill your tank with our gas or do an exchange for a full one?”

Me. “Whatever is cheapest.”

Clerk: “That would be a refill. $17.99.”

Me: “Okay.” I head outside where the refill station is located.

Clerk: “Sorry. We’re out of gas.”

It felt like an Abbott and Costello routine. (Young readers, look it up. Google “Who’s on First?”)

Note, also, as we talk about business practices, there is a company selling frozen pizza’s with heating instructions so small a large segment of the pizza company’s market can not read the directions.

Crap, how could I have missed it? The pizza company also sells magnifying glasses.

Now, THAT is good business.

Trying to explain the ISNIC PEC Divide is pointless. I struggle to find teaching examples of how crazy this divide is, because simply talking about it sounds like taking sides, either Red or Blue, Progressive or Conservative, Crazy or Loony….and when we take sides, the other side never listens.

What we all need, really, is to NOT be a part of a group. Period. What would happen, for example, if a politician voted for what was best for his constituents and for his country instead of voting for what the Senate Leader, Majority Whip, House Leader, and House Majority Whip say? Why do the house and senate need whips, anyway? What do they do in those closed committee rooms?

In high school and in School of Rock, we learned a bill is an idea for a law brought before the House or Senate for approval. The bill then gets voted on by both,if approved, is sent to the President for signing.

That’s not even close to how it really happens, sadly, unless the bill is to rename a Post Office in Iowa after a war hero. Or to declare National Marshmallow Day.

The only way to reform the process is to turn our backs on the ISNIC PEC Divide and demand lawmakers vote for what is best for all first, and then for their own constituents. It is understandable an oil producing state’s population would NOT like to see solar power/green energy become successful. But if a new, clean power source became available, who would it help?

Not the best example, but even this sad example would work if Oil Producers (AKA Big Money) got on board and led the charge. Can they not make money off solar/green power? Or are they just making too much off Fossil fuels? And who would want to give that up?

And we’re back to the real problem: money.

It is my contention that Big Money, whoever they are, would much rather we all argue the ISNIC PEC Divide rather than look at real issues….especially their profit margins. And compensation agreements.

I, for one, will no longer speak of the ISNIC PEC Divide. Will everyone else join me?

Let’s say a policeman kills a person while the policeman is on duty.

If this sentence is all we know, there isn’t much to get upset about. We trust the police did the right thing, and bad man/woman will no longer terrorize innocent people.

Unless we are a minority citizen.

But in our ISNIC PEC world, its not that simple. And in real life, it never was/is either.

The Blue Party, Black Lives Matter, and other groups protesting police violence–and the de-funding of police departments–are wrong: we need more police and more money for police. Not less. Not fewer. Not smaller.

If you understand the nature of society, we coexist with each other by obeying laws both written and unwritten.

And what happens if NO ONE is there to enforce these laws?

Progressives calling for de-funding should change their calls to reforming, rebuilding, and resurrecting the police departments.

Point: Our written laws are suffering at the hands of cash-strapped policing units. And having bad apples in those units makes it even worse. But explain to your children how our society can pay a professional athlete more than it can to the very person you depend on to save your life? (Include Emergency medical, fire fighters, etc, in this argument.) In some states the quarterback for the NFL team makes more than entire police departments. Oddly, this supports the need for more police funding by showing that if you want to win, you need to pay for winners. How many police captains have had the ability to bid for good officers? Firefighters? We really should have trading cards for public service.

It needs to be pointed out that Red Party (and probably SOME Blue Party) politicians embrace lower taxes and smaller governments, without understanding that means lower quality public service and smaller policing units.

And what about mental health? Why is a $35,000 a year cop expected to handle a mentally deranged individual who is threatening innocent people?

It is way more complex than this but if Progressives and Blues dropped the ISNIC PEC screed, the de-fund mantra, and Conservatives and Reds looked at taxes as necessary for the continued support of civil, peaceful society…hm…

Last time we talked about the stupidity surrounding the ISNIC PEC situation. Stupidity. Its a situation where people are hurting themselves without knowing it.

Example: In March of 2021 we had some mass shootings. We had Blue politicians offer thoughts, prayers, and new laws to limit the spread of guns capable of killing 60 people a minute.

We had Red politicians offer thoughts, prayers, and heartfelt, stone cold refusal to consider any new laws.

But we had private citizens from all kinds of groups rush out to gun shops and buy more guns. Actual conversation at work: “We need to get an assault rifle before Biden bans them.”

So, who won the gun control game?

Let’s see who lost, first.

1. As of March 2021, 17 innocent bystanders and 1 police officer have been gunned down this year.
2. At a conservative estimate, 34 more people suffered a tragic loss of a loved one, an event that changed their lives. At least 34.
3. Members of the Blue political party, their supporters, and independent citizens who care about gun deaths got nothing but the sick feeling there will be more mass deaths, coupled with the mindfulness that gun reform is not important to anyone in the Red Party.

So, who won?

1. The Red Party wins the political fight over gun laws. Yay.
2. Gun sellers win with record sales as gun owners who own 10 guns realize they need to buy more before the Blue Party takes the guns away from honest citizens.
3. The gun manufacturers who increase production (and profits) to meet this new demand.
4. The National Rifle Association (NRA) who’s membership grows and contributions from existing members increases.
5. Gun Lobbyists as the NRA uses the new profits to lobby harder for no meaningful gun reform.
6. Red politicians who reap the rewards doled out by the gun/NRA lobbyists.

I own two guns: A Rifle, and a small handgun.

Someone please write and tell me why I need an assault rifle? A weapon that shoots 60 rounds in the blink of an eye?

And when you answer, do NOT repeat what the NRA/lobbyists told you to say. Think for yourself. at how you are being manipulated by powerful greedy, politicians and business owners.

And then ask, beg, vote, badger, any and all gun owners, dealers, manufacturers not to simply ignore the problem. I know they care, but money always trumps caring, in America.

I wonder if it works that way in heaven, too?

First: ISNIC is shorthand for Ignorant. Stupid, Nonsensical, Idiotic, and Counterproductive

Second: Divide is a noun for the this article. As in The Great Divide. Wait, that doesn’t help much. Think of the space between things or people. The Gap.

Third: PEC stands for Political, Economic, and Class.

The point: America has decided to redefine itself into several different groups. Not states. Or really political parties. Groups. Complete with their own messaging systems and facts.

Lets not get bogged down with facts, at the moment, and point out some important…points.

I can’t keep this up with a straight face. Our current American PEC Divide needs an adult of any color, any group, and any nationality to stand up and say “What the F— is wrong with everybody? Grow up, you morons.”

Consider the tweets, postings, comments, and new words such a declaration would engender…no, don’t want to.

In a youth spent in the US education system, as well as libraries and bars, I acquired a self-evident truth that education would save America. Once a semi-idealistic youth who railed against the War, The Military Industrialist Complex, The Man, Drug Laws, Racism, I mistakenly grew into a middling 20-something content with the knowledge history would not repeat itself. America was on the Right Track.

But then the 80s’ happened. And then the 90’s. And the aughts. And a strange thing happened.

America got dumb. America suffered the fate my parents warned me about when I watched too much television.

For those of you who participate in the ISNIC PEC Divide, think of this: no one GROUP in these shenanigans is right about everything. No one GROUP is more Godly than the other. No one GROUP has answers the other Group does not have. No matter how popular and reassuring your news/facts supplier. So why bother participating? Actually, join them all!

In fact, if you belong to ANY of these ISNIC PEC groups, you should consider the immortal, paraphrased words of Groucho: “I don’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.”

A sad side-note is the loss of the Independent American, a loosely affiliated group, if there is enough of them, held together only by name, not by single-minded doctrine or belief.

Its a struggle to be polite, so no more: Our PEC Divide is ISNIC. Let it go.

Life is full of possibilities. Things we should do. Things we can do. Things people want us to do. Things people tell us we should do, now!

Age has its negatives but its biggest positive is not giving a crap about anything printed in that first paragraph.

Wow. For those as young as me (67) the realization of how free you actually are does not come quickly. (eg. I still shave. Once a week, whether its needed or not.) FYI: it is needed but NOT necessary.

But with fantastic freedom comes responsibility. NOT.

If my credit score sinks to the bottom of the ocean because of a lack of financial discipline, so what? I can’t get a 30 year mortgage for my new house! Ha.

And exercise–they say–doesn’t prolong life as much as it makes your existing years better. But I’m not working and money keeps coming in from Social Security and Pensions. How much better could life be?

Maybe I should look into doing something for those less fortunate than me. Yeah, right. Exactly like someone did for me when I was struggling?

Ok. This might just be a temper tantrum because the New Orleans Saints lost the NFC Championship game–they were ROBBED of the NFC Championship–but man, does it feel good to be able to say: Why Bother? and actually mean it.

It has been some time since last I entered here. Mom, my dog, my retirement, grandchildren going to college, and my induction into the medical world with my own problems, all conspired to make my presence, here, too much of a struggle. It took too much time, too much energy, too much…whatever.

It was truly laziness, though. There were plenty of unfilled minutes in the last year and a half that should have been filled with attendance at this site.

And the reason for the laziness? Contentment.

There is no urge to come here and express my views when it’s so much better use of my time to sit and watch television. Or read a book. Or play tennis. Or workout. Or call my kids. Or call my grandkids. Or buy a new car. Or spend hours sitting with medical personnel intent on convincing me the need for drugs is real. (I could have used that argument in my profligate youth!)

But there is something about here, something about this exercise, something about putting into words the things puzzling about life…

So I am back. Hopefully on a regular basis. There is lots to write about in this Trumpian World, and I hope to be unhappy enough to be motivated.

I hope I am not too late.

Sometimes if you say a word three times really fast the word loses it meaning, even sounds silly. Not so, with one particular word.

Death has a very bad image and its import cannot be obfuscated with linguistic tricks or even with better advertising.

The problem with death is its absolute certainty. What else in life is so profoundly dependable?

You can be the devil or Mother Theresa, a Triathlete or a 300 pound couch potato, a tither or a atheist, death will visit you in your lifetime. Forget taxes. There is no Death Lawyer or Mortality Accountant who can get your death reduced, extended, or delayed. When time is up, time is up.

Want to have a serious illness and know (roughly) the date of your death? Or care to die when you’re not ready, maybe when the Yankees are on the brink of another  World Series? Or when you’re naked?

The best way is the “go sleep and not wake up” death. Unless your married and your spouse finds you in the morning and dies from the shock. (Note: does “spouse” cover all partnership arrangements?)

When my wife gave birth to our first child one of the sayings muttered to allay her anxiety was “millions of women have done it”. Those words aren’t as useful in the circumstances surrounding death. They don’t have much power with the second child’s birth, either.

I can’t count the number of times serious, introspective discussions assuaged my fears and convinced me of an acceptance of death. Of course, death never came and the resolution to accept death is not as certain as death: the resolve has to be reinvigorated and restored almost daily, unless you’re young and invincible.

So we linger…all of us not dead or dying, but certain we will.

The one welcome issue surrounding death is the clarity it inspires. I imagine my death bed (if I am so lucky) being a place where one last wish for one more minute will be made. And that precious minute will not be spent on social, political, sexual, or fiscal items that consistently attempted to ruin the living of my life.

I will want more minutes of loved ones, as many as can fit in the room.

Mom lost her battle with The Illness in February, 2016.

It turned out to be a larger foe than anyone realized. The masters of Scientific Care  could not put a name to her illness until they opened her up and found Cancer hiding in all the places tests, scans, and x-rays could not see.

This is not an indictment of the university hospital which took over her care, but an illustration of the relentless march of not only cancer, but life: mom’s end would probably not have come on a cold, February day in 2016 if she was 22 years old. Time takes a lot from our mortal being and mom’s 84 year-old body did not have enough fight left to stave off the surgeries, heart stoppages, and pulmonary emergencies resulting from the treatment necessary to expunge The Illness.

It’s nearly December. Mom’s birthday was last week and Thanksgiving was yesterday. It was the first time in 64 years I didn’t talk to her on either day. It’s hard to say what that means because of the duality of loss. We think we have lost a lot, the most important person in the world, the person who gave us life, and we could easily wonder why and how we should go on with our own life. Despite this loss, we have to see it is the way of the world. Billions of people have lost their mothers, their fathers, the one they loved the most. And billions will endure the exact same loss in their future…no matter what they do.

So: mourn the loss or shrug the shoulder? Or a combination of the two? It’s healthier to look forward and shrug the shoulder if there are more kids, grand-kids, and great-grand-kids looking to a future they see as never-ending. It almost feels good to know the truth and not tell them. Yet.

But it is best to mourn quietly, shrug privately, and know in your heart life will keep doing what it does no matter the choices any individual thinks he or she makes: no one gets away from mortality. We should simply get on the cycle of life and ride best we can, especially if we are next in line, all the while thanking God for the opportunity.

And if we do no harm and help a few people along our route, what more can any God ask of us?

Mom was the best mom, person, and human being I’ve ever known.

My hope is someone will say the same about me, sometime.

The Illness is still with my mother but things aren’t going the way The Illness planned.

There was a flurry of medical activity, and crisis after crisis as mom took the best shots The Illness offered. Heart stoppages, infections, tumors, pneumonia…

None succeeded in convincing the stubborn, 84 year-old Dutch woman to let loose her mortal coils.

She fights on and as a son I wonder where the strength comes from and will my life be the same if I am blessed to reach 84.

As a human I ponder the condition of her life, the quality of her existence, and the purpose of the fight.

Were anyone to know the truth of heaven, would anyone fight The Illness or embrace it? Why is fighting until your last breath such a noble, brave thing to do?

Smart, educated people say the world has been around millions of years. Eighty four pales in comparison. Probably billions have died through the ages. What were they thinking?

It is nothing new for a man to wonder about existence and life after death, about mortality, but the wonder only becomes real when you get close to it.

And being near The End of someone you love is as close as one can get.

Those of us with no real say about mom’s decision know what we want.

We hope it is the same thing she does.