Ai defines conundrum, a uniquely curious and funny sounding word, as “a confusing and difficult problem or question…often used to describe a situation where there is no clear right answer or where every solution has a downside”. There are lots of conundrums* in the world today, ranging from the important and sad—Wars–to the idiotic, like who will win this season’s “Survivor”. ** But right in the middle of that continuum is Santa Claus.

As a fan of Santa Claus his existence, to me, is not a conundrummm(sic). Logical reason: if he is not real*** why is he still around? Why hasn’t he been sent to the trash heap of strange gods and myths such as Cardea and Sterquilinus:  the former, The Roman God of Door Hinges, and the latter The God of Manure.

We should admire Santa Claus for his manufacturing and logistics prowess. His manufacturing operations should be the envy of the modern world, with his ability to ramp up to economic quantities of scale and yet pivot to special niche gifts. This agile and on-time production record would be a good reason why modern manufacturing trade associations may be behind the effort to label Santa Claus a Myth. The logistics groups, too, must be envious of the Claus Corporation’s lightning-like speed of product delivery and accuracy. Envy is not only a green-eyed monster but a wonderful motivator. Shipping firms are probably working overtime to delegitimize the Big Red Fat Man, as well.

The konnundrum(sic)? It has two parts, really. 1. How does he do it? And 2. Does he really do it? There is no hard, recordable evidence for an answer to either question. No one sees Santa or any Santa-based employee make a delivery, for example. And not even the CIA can find evidence of a manufacturing site and if Santa was flying all over the world delivering un-scanned packages, air defense systems would be flashing “end of the world” warnings for hours. Imagine the decisions nuclear key holders would have to make. And yet, there the presents are every Christmas morning, The Post Office forwards Santa’s mail, and fully grown, highly educated adults propagate Santa’s existence. Simply, he endures. For centuries. Would a wooden stake end it all? Maybe, if he could be found.

For the sake of sanity, and to end this post, let’s answer the conundrummer(sic) with this: Santa is a real myth. Minor gods of hardware and feculence disappear because they have no real purpose, no real need. Have door hinges ever been accused of being evil? But Santa does fill a need. His body image could use some help but his message of naughty or nice is important.  It is probably the first time (and only time?) loving, caring parents get a chance to introduce wrong and right to a growing brain in a growing body while it’s still just a smaller version of themselves…and pays attention.  When those bodies get to a certain size conversations get more difficult, if they happen at all.

So let’s support Santa for as long as we can before the internet and Ai render him to the Useless Myth Compost Bin (UMCB).

Fun, relevant fact: Ai says “the etymology of conundrum is itself a conundrum”. One source might be Oxford college students who made up their own Latin-Based words for their own language of “pompous sounding” words. Slang. In the 1500’s. Those crazy kids. Thank God, it doesn’t happen these days. Yes, that is Ironious. (Copyright pending.)

*The more the word is used the funkier it sounds. Where did this word come from?

**Why should we care who is the best at lying and cheating to win $1 million dollars?

***What is “real”? A whole different discussion and an integral part all conunnnndrums(sic).