The last post got me interested in the origins of words and languages. The usual suspects were consulted: The internet and Wikipedia.

The only true thing I learned is: nobody knows. In fact, according to Wikipedia, the evolution of language is such a difficult subject, its research was banned by The Linguistic Society of Paris in 1866 as a subject “unsuitable for serious study”. Study has not stopped, however, but why would it when the best theories cannot be unproven, and even the dumbest among us can have a go at it.

There is a consensus among us serious thinkers (I am now among them) that language took a long time to develop and will not reveal its secrets…ever. A theory which makes sense (as most do), is the appearance of stone tools. The existence of these tools meant the someone who invented the tools was sharing intelligence with others on how to make those tools. Makes sense. But then the theory fails to be taken seriously when we consider apes have–and use–tools of all kinds yet they can’t conjugate a verb. Or can they? For that matter, can we? And when the original tool maker pointed, grunted, and nodded approval to his apprentices, could they ever have imagined the concept of conjugation might find its way into the process?

A theory which is neat and tidy is the Alien Theory. Let me elucidate and explicate. Well-dressed and educated aliens were driving by eons ago and saw an empty-looking, green and blue ball.They stopped to take a leak and were surprised to find early humans hiding behind the bushes, watching. At that very moment, the aliens responded with something similar to our modern “WTF?”, and followed that up with an “LOL” when the the humans threw stone tools at the titanium spaceship. After washing their hands completely, the Aliens proceeded to set up tents for classroom instruction of the Native Earthians, who were forced to attend, unless they were sick. Masks were not invented, yet. Subjects were English 101 and Precalculas math. Pop quizzes were scored and failing humans were put on the spaceship for specimens to be examined on the ride home. The “smart humans” were set loose into the world to propagate their learning and population. And thus math and language were given to our world by somebody who couldn’t hold it in, any longer.

There’s no speculation on how the Aliens were treated when they got home, but Earth proceeded on its course to development, especially after the humans realized the apes “weren’t getting it” and all attention was then focused on the least hairy members of the clan/tribe/society. Shaving was invented around then, as well, using a really sharp stone. Smart, right?

Does any of this sound like a “subject unsuitable for study”?

Final thought? Language and words (and math, science, et. al.) are wonders we all should take part in, and enjoy. We will never get all the answers to all the questions, especially in our lifetimes, but enjoy the journey. Be more inquisitive about where “decimate” comes, from (deck a mate?)and less about who will win “Survivor”. Please.