Yep, it’s true. These are the last, few sentences I’ll write about Felon47. It isn’t because he’s stopped lying, whining, and doing bad things, but everyone is starting to take notice. Finally. You’ll hear all about it in the coming months. My words aren’t needed, anymore.

So…what do we talk about, now?

My little town in upstate New York was thrust into the “Lake Effect Snowbelt” these past few weeks. It is a phenomenon unique to the states east of The Great Lakes (google them). Cold winds coming from the west, northwest flow over the still warm lakes and suck up huge amounts of water, which gets deposited over land as the wind sweeps off last lake. It doesn’t get deposited as water, but as snow. It snows so much and for so long it’s hard to believe each snowflake is different. AI says each flake is different because “each snowflake follows a different path through the air, experiencing different conditions.” I call bull$%^& and need to see some proof: they all look the same when you’re shoveling.

Historically, the Lake Effect drops snow bombs farther north of my city, dumping as much as 30 feet of snow, annually, on small towns and farms whose denizens are veterans of the flaky onslaught. They relish it. Local parking lots are not filled with cars but snowmobiles. The Tug Hill Plateau region holds the (unofficial) New York State record of 77 inches of snowfall in 24 hours. Each flake unique, beautiful, and fragile. Right. How many unique flakes in 77 inches spread over acres and acres? Bull%$#@. Imagine someone looking at each flake…

How many flakes? I finally understand the concept of “infinity”.

The last two weeks a wind shift has pushed the lake effect south…to me… and I’ve been in The Chair watching it from the warmth and comfort of my second-floor apartment. (And sharing it with my friends in the south, garnering immense pity.) Most days there has been some form of legal restriction on travel: states of emergency, weather advisories, warnings, and often things are just closed so there is no reason to venture out. But some do, with hilarious consequence. Maybe they’re checking the uniqueness of flakes? Or just like to move snow around.

As noted in an earlier “complaint” about snowfall in upstate New York, humans are the best entertainment in bad conditions. We are fun to watch.

The complex I live in has a sense of humor, too. Imagine trying to clear a parking lot full of snow when the parking lot is full of cars. And the snow never stops. Management tried to get us to move our cars in concert during the first snow blast last month. About 50 per cent of us did, which you can imagine, made it worse. So when the next management notice came about moving cars to clear an area no one moved. Now that’s progress.

It’s the end of February so the big lake effect snows may be over, but after a strange, 10 months of unusual weather highlighted by a rare summer tornado and rare lake effect snow, it can only mean I owe the lifetime residents an apology for moving here last April.

For more than that reason, I am truly sorry.

But: Spring is coming! And MAGAns are turning against…oops…almost said that name.